September 12th, 2023
With Deidre Sirianni, a TEDx speaker, spiritual guide, leadership strategist, love coach, an International Best Selling author of the book Turn Your Light On, and founder of Radically Aligned Academy. She is an activator & guide to visionaries, leaders, and impact-driven entrepreneurs who are ready to change the world in a big way, and aren’t willing to compromise when it comes to matters of the heart.
Her mission is to awaken as many people in her life to wake up to the truth of who they are and who they are meant to be. Her work helps you master your inner world, so that you can actualize your genius into reality and make the biggest impact with your gifts.
Join us in our conversation where Deidre shares her insights on the power of listening to your soul, tips for quieting the noise in modern life, including setting intentions, and the importance of gaining a different perspective. We also explored around the four stages of turning your light on and its connection to one’s purpose and entrepreneurship, the biggest barrier people face when trying to step into their next level of self and work, and the primary goals why people come to her for their purpose-based businesses and how she helps them achieve these goals.
Takeaways & quotes you don’t want to miss from this episode:
- The importance of listening to your intuition.
- How to quiet the noise in your life?
- The conversation around doing the right things rather than the wrong things.
- “A lot of our challenges are initiations to what is for us, so keep leaning in.”
- What is a “joy list” and how can you make it?
“If you have something that you want to create, but everyone in the world around you is telling you you can’t, I actually believe it’s a sign that you are meant for that.”-Deidre Sirianni
Check out these highlights:
- 02:55 Deidre shares how her business changed leading up to this day.
- 24:44 Four stages of Turning Your Light On.
- 39:27 The biggest barrier for people when it comes to stepping into their next level of self and work.
- 45:47 An important piece of conversation people might be missing.
- 50:24 A particular system Deidre likes to use when learning somebody’s energy imprint.
How to get in touch with Deidre on Social Media:
You can also contact Deidre by visiting her website here.
Special gift to the listeners: Take the quiz to find out what stage of your evolution you are at when it comes to your purpose so that you can reach your next level with more ease and grace.
Imperfect Show Notes
We are happy to offer these imperfect show notes to make this podcast more accessible to those who are hearing impaired or those who prefer reading over listening. While we would love to offer more polished show notes, we are currently offering an automated transcription (which likely includes errors, but hopefully will still deliver great value), below:
GGGB Intro 00:00
Here’s what you get on today’s episode of Guts, Grit and Great Business®…
Deidre Sirianni 00:04
If you have something that you want to create, whether it’s a book, you want to be a coach, you want to do anything, you want to move somewhere. But everyone in the world around you is telling you can’t or you have a history of people saying you can’t do that. I actually believe it’s a sign that you are meant for that. A lot of our challenges are just initiations to what is for us. So keep leaning in, keep showing up, get the support and believe in yourself.
GGGB Intro 00:34
The adventure of entrepreneurship and building a life and business you love, preferably at the same time is not for the faint of heart. That’s why Heather Pearce Campbell is bringing you a dose of guts, grit and great business stories that will inspire and motivate you to create what you want in your business and life. Welcome to the Guts, Grit and Great Business® podcast where endurance is required. Now, here’s your host, The Legal Website Warrior®, Heather Pearce Campbell.
Heather Pearce Campbell 01:03
Alrighty, welcome. I am Heather Pearce Campbell, The Legal Website Warrior®. I’m an attorney and legal coach based here in Seattle, Washington, serving online information entrepreneurs throughout the US and the world. Welcome to another episode of Guts, Grit and Great Business®. I am super excited to have my friend, Deidre Sirianni on today. Welcome, Deidre.
Deidre Sirianni 01:29
Thanks for having me. I’m excited to be here.
Heather Pearce Campbell 01:31
Oh my gosh, I feel like we’re so overdue. So Deidre and I first met became acquainted, really, right before the pandemic one month before I met a lot of people at that event, and you were one of them. And then the whole pandemic Time Warp happened, where in some ways it feels like 10 years, and in some ways, it feels like yesterday, right? It’s really good to be connecting with you. We had a great chat a few weeks ago, and we were like, we need to do this, we need to make this happen. So for those of you that don’t know Deidre, Deidre Sirianni is an international best selling author of the book, turn your light on. She’s a coach and founder of Radically Aligned Academy where impact driven entrepreneurs come to master their inner world on their magic and create freedom based businesses so that they can make a bigger impact in the world. So that’s a very short and sweet bio. Welcome, Deidre. Thank you. I was laughing, I was teasing her beforehand, like, I can make you tell more of your story following this little bio. That’s the fun part. Because your path has even changed between when you and I met. And now, right, just a few years later, you want to share a little bit about first the way that your business has changed and what you’re up to now, and then we’ll dig into a little of the backstory.
Deidre Sirianni 02:54
Yeah, you know, before the pandemic, I remember going to that event. And I was so excited because I had a signature event that I was taking to different cities around the world. And at the time, I was living out of a small purple suitcase and I had sparkle outfits and shorts and crop tops and bathing suits. And I was all over the place. I was in hot places. And I came to San Diego, I think it was San Diego for this event to learn about joint ventures. And I was excited to take my event to different cities. Little did I know that just a month later, the entire world was going to shut down and I was a coach. And I’ve been coaching now for about five, six years. And I was not working with one to one clients anymore. I was focusing on my on my event based business. So all of that changed. And how it changed for me was I realized that my high ticket offerings, I wanted to turn into group programs online so I could support more people and make a bigger impact while being able to work online. And so my business totally changed. But if I really look back on it, it’s all of the things I probably could have or now that I teach my clients that they should have in their business so that they have that freedom to work and live from anywhere but how my business has changed. Like I just feel like I’ve been on a journey of constant evolution. Like, you know, seven years ago, I was standing in my kitchen, do a flashback. And I was putting my fingers through my hair and I realized that something fell off. So I grabbed my phone, I raced to the bathroom. I put on camera and I start angling at the back of my head trying to figure out what’s going on here. And I’m like, Oh my gosh, I have a bald spot. And it’s this big. And so if you’re just listening, you’re watching it was a couple inches of a circle on the top left corner of my head and it was like how did this happen? How do I fix it? Clearly the universe is trying to tell me something because it’s going on After me, at that point in my life, like my image was very important to me. So I go back to my kitchen for a moment to sit down and ground.
Heather Pearce Campbell 05:08
Well, and let’s be clear that whether your image is that important if you’re a female, like, I’m just gonna say your hair is always important, right?
Deidre Sirianni 05:17
Like really important to me.
Heather Pearce Campbell 05:21
But it’s dramatic. Even if it’s something not as dramatic as what you were experiencing. Right then.
Deidre Sirianni 05:28
Yeah, yeah, I was in total, like, clearly something isn’t working. So I sit down and to ground and that’s when I hear this voice come out of me and say, If you don’t listen to your soul, you’re going to manifest cancer and die in a year. And then I have a flashback to five years prior, the only other time I had ever heard this voice speak to me, and I had pink roses, I was wearing a wedding gown I was outside my friend Marty was playing on the guitar, the lyrics, it’s beautiful. It’s true that song by James Blunt, and I’m walking down the aisle, a big smile on my face. And I think I’m about to marry the man that I spent the rest of my life with. And the same voice comes out of nowhere and says this just isn’t going to work. And I had never heard this voice before. It was inconvenient to say the least. And I thought I was doing what I was meant to do. So I shoved it down. Now I’m sitting my kitchen table seven years ago, and I’m like, I have four different types of autoimmune disease that the doctors can help me with, I have chronic pain in my neck and shoulders to the point where my massage therapist actually fired me. She’s like, I just can’t help you anymore. And I was depressed to the point of having visions of any my life. And I had always identified as a happy person, but I wasn’t. And every time I was in the room with my husband, I would contract and I was being told who to be how to be what I can say what I can’t say what I can wear, what I can’t wear. And I realized that moment, as I was sitting at my kitchen table, oh my gosh, I’m in an abusive relationship. And my body is shutting down since that moment, five years prior, I didn’t listen. And so in that moment, I knew that if I didn’t listen to my soul, and change what was showing up so quickly, and I was in my 20s at the time, I wasn’t going to be around for another year. So it led me down the path of studying deeper in the space of shamanic healing, letting go things that weren’t working, listening to the intuitive nudges. And finally, getting honest with myself, having courage, and then doing the hard things and letting go the things that didn’t belong. And then suddenly, within three months, I healed myself of all of those things, my hair grew back, three of the four autoimmune diseases went away, at least at least the symptoms, depression was gone, chronic pain that I had for over six months was gone. And now I help people listen to their soul, and then take their traumas, take their challenges and turn it into their greatest gifts for humanity and business. So if we go back seven years ago, that moment was when everything changed for me.
Heather Pearce Campbell 08:22
So powerful and having an event, right, people would call it clear audience event that you recognized from before, right. I wonder how many people are sitting here thinking to themselves about something like that, that they’ve ignored or shoved down or pushed to the side? Right? Really, really powerful. I had a clear audience event in college that was really powerful. I was getting ready to take my friend, we were studying really late into the night. I think there was a final the next day. And the funny thing is, this was a small town in Utah, like not a particularly threatening place to live or be, but it was like two or three in the morning. And I just had this voice and it was like so clear, like you’re going to be driving her home tonight, right? She lived like two blocks from me, literally, like you could just walk into minutes and be home. And I told her that I was like, I’m driving you and she’s like, No, you’re not. She looked at me like I was crazy. Like, are you kidding me? I live two blocks from your house. Like of course I’m just walking. I’m like, No, I’m driving you. But I also heard get your mate. Whoa. Get your maize and like I didn’t even know where my mace was like my mom had sent me to college with this little can of mace like you could put on a keychain or something. Right? I didn’t even know where it was. And I was like get your mace and that was the part that I dismissed right. But I still insisted on driving my friend home that get your mace it was just like kind of felt like an extra hurdle like oh, I don’t know where it is and I just seemed to get her home. And anyway, so we I walked her out the way that the cars parked in front of that little house, there was like a tree in the middle of kind of like, I don’t know, like there’s a sidewalk, but then there’s just all this pavement on the street side of the sidewalk, right. And cars could just pull up facing the sidewalk, three on this side, three on this side and a tree in the middle. And my parking was like on the very far right side of all of those. So I took her home and came back and I parked in my normal spot, walked, you know, on the sidewalk that was parallel to the house and then turned to go up the main walkway towards her house. And it was like I walked into a brick wall, like I had this vision of knowing not only that somebody was behind me, but like seeing it before I actually turned around and saw it, you know? Yeah, so it was a really fast like, especially as I look back on it, and knowing what I know now around like intuition and the importance of listening to that inner voice. And you know, it’s really interesting to kind of dissect that experience and the different parts of it from the very beginning. But you know, I had this experience of like literally feeling like I was walking into a brick wall and then turning around and there was a man that had been hiding by that tree. And he had ducked down so that like when cars drove by on the street, even though it was late, like it was a college town, there was still some traffic intermittently. And so that he would not be seen in the light, he would just squat down and then the cars would kind of shield them that you couldn’t really see much, right? Anyways, long story short, it was all fine. I made it into the house, I called the police, they of course didn’t get there in time to really find him. Did he see that? You saw him? Yeah, and he was not freaked out at all. He just stood there smoking a cigarette, just staring at me, like there just wasn’t a problem in the world. And he anyway, so and this was pre cellphone days, right? This is the late 90s. So I know when I tell my kid, this story, like I got into the house is one of those like race, like, unlock the door with a key turn around, get it locked. And then I’m staring at him out the little window through the door. And the phone. You know, I live there with however many other girls is like across the living room on the wall. My kids are like what the phone was on the wall. And when I left, obviously to go call 911. You know, he was out of there. But I look back at that. And I’m like, what could have happened if my girlfriend had just walked out the door and walked herself home in the dark of night unit? I mean, like I think the circumstances were enough different that we sorted whatever was going to happen. And I don’t know, you know, if I’d had my mace like, how differently could that have gone? It’s just it’s so interesting to think about but your story, and the fact that you recognize that voice, you were able to honor it the second time and like hearing your journey about the illness and everything that had been happening in your body, you know, leading up to then and you know, I have so many questions like one, how is it that we get ourselves into scenarios, right? And I think we all do this, there. It’s so clear, there’s a point in time looking back where like, it’s so clear what was happening. And when we’re in it, it just isn’t that clear, right? And then around like, and I don’t know if it’s about decision making, right? Just just having the time to sit with ourselves and like be really because I know you mentioned like, get really honest with yourself. Right? So we might have to dig into some more of that because I just find the whole story fascinating and, and really a fascinating study of human nature, right?
Deidre Sirianni 13:50
Well, I think like when it comes to love, which is something that I’m really passionate about beginning to teach in which is like more like I’ve gone through so many things that I’m like, Oh, that’s not love, that’s not love, that’s not love, and I found that on my journey and maybe you can relate to this maybe not but I’ve learned what something is based what on what it’s not and like when I stepped away from my marriage, you know, six years ago, I didn’t even realize how bad it was until I was out of it and even then I still was like oh I feel better I have more energy I feel more confident all those things but I didn’t realize how damaging it was until maybe maybe in the last couple of months where I you know I don’t have anything to heal with that person. I haven’t had that for years. But how it has been impacting me in the relationship space, in the confidence space, because this person was always talking down to me and calling me stupid and so even though I’m like a go getter, and I’m doing all these things, sometimes things will come up and I’m like, where’s this from? And I’m like, I think it’s because I was in emotionally, mentally abusive relationship for eight years where I was told things, do you know what I mean? And it was like, programming my subconscious mind. So if we go back to like the relationship in general, I got it. I mean, I think it’s gonna be a relationship episode.
Heather Pearce Campbell 15:26
Right? Well, at least it’s a part of it. But I mean, relationship, whether we talk about that it’s really any relationship in our life, right, that we have the opportunity to learn some of our most significant lessons.
Deidre Sirianni 15:39
Yeah, for me with that relationship, I got into it, because I never really had someone show up so consistently for me in my life. And I thought that that’s what love was. So I got into it, we did long distance for years. And the feeling though, I think the first sign that it wasn’t aligned for me was long before we got engaged, where I’d always feel anxious, I never could catch up with what he wanted, or where he was going. Like, I couldn’t actually tune into what was true to me. So I found myself feeling anxious, or I felt like I was kind of forcing myself because this person was so confident with their conviction with what they wanted, and asked that, because I hadn’t got clear enough on who I was, and what I wanted, and even tuning into myself, I went along with it. And when I look back on that now, I’m like, Oh, it was so obvious. But also, I think that as women, we’ve been programmed, of course, depending on like, your upbringing and your family and all that. We’ve been programmed, like, if we watch television, oh, she’s nervous, you know, that means that it’s butterflies, but actually like nerves and anxiety is a sign that it actually isn’t necessarily butterflies. It’s your intuition saying no. So I didn’t know that back then. And I’m planning to safety, consistency and something that I never had. And then of course, when we were in it, just I kept feeling anxious. I kept feeling like, Oh, we got engaged, or we got married, or we did these, but I still feel like I still feel this anxiety, this anxiousness. And I think that was a sign from the beginning that it wasn’t right. It could have been.
Heather Pearce Campbell 17:28
Yeah, well, I think, a huge part of your story that I think most people can relate to, right? Whether it’s related to relationship, whether it’s related to life is like, the strain that gets placed on our nervous system, when things are out of alignment, or when we’re not slowing down enough to really tune in and take care of ourselves. And I think so many people have been through a recent period of, we’ll just call it a whole new understanding related to their own nervous systems. Right. And so I think that, you know, from a lot of perspectives, this conversation and sharing stories about this very thing is super relevant and super timely. So you obviously we learned a lot about you even in that short story, right? And you made this dramatic shift, and you are now really focused on helping people in business, right? Entrepreneurs, essentially walk this process, right of tuning in words, getting really honest, being in alignment, making choices that are in alignment, so that they can create a life that they love. Mm hmm. Yeah, it’s a lot it. I mean, there’s a lot within that equation. I would love though, to ask you because I know you just came out with a book, right? Do you want to tell us a little bit about your book, Turn Your Light On?
Deidre Sirianni 18:53
I would love to. So turn your light on it. It’s time to wake up to the truth of who you are and who you’re meant to. This is the work that really is a combination of the past 12 years of studying with shamans have been deep into the space of spirituality personality, a lot of trial and error in my own life healing trauma, clearing past patterns, reprogramming, and essentially, what it is, is it the pathway to wake up to your true identity and its accelerated pathway to healing parts of ourselves and understanding what is true for us and what is not true for us. What is our intuition? What is like what is fear versus intuition, all those kinds of topics?
Heather Pearce Campbell 19:43
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Heather Pearce Campbell 21:28
Well, right because so often our nervous systems are responding to something that isn’t even true, right? It’s like based on a wrong interpretation or an old story or something else. And I think it can make it really challenging for people to distinguish the cause, like the root cause, and like, what is true? Is this based on a false belief? Or do I really need to be concerned about this situation or whatever, right?
Deidre Sirianni 21:55
And I think it’s tricky to I was just in conversation with a friend the other day who owns a company and someone in her organization was triggered around something that happened and was like this was done on purpose. And you did this because this is how you feel about me, there was a dynamic that happened. And they did all of this work to show this person that no, this is just something that was wrong with a system thing in the computer. It wasn’t personal, and the facts were there, but the person couldn’t get over it. And because of that they’re retriggered re wounded in their trauma. And they’re potentially ruining a career and relationships that are aligned with where they want to go. Because they haven’t done the reprogramming they haven’t really taken the time to understand their core traumas. And one of the gifts of this book in this system is that I really believe you know, I’ve had a few different core traumas that have happened in my life. But there’s also really great things that can happen in our life that can have a negative impact on our life, people who are very, very, very successful at one thing oftentimes have had a imprint, which is similar to a trauma except for it that happy, excited moment that trains the system that I have to do this in order to be loved. And as a result, the rest of their life has sacrificed their relationships, their health, whatever. So I talk about both of them in the book in a couple of chapters, and we look at the traumas as access point to our greatest gifts. It’s like a diamond that has a bunch of dirt on it. And once we shine the diamond, those are the diamonds, those are the gifts that you’re here to give the world. So instead of wallowing in our pain, which when I look at kind of what I’ve been seeing in the world, it’s like feel your feelings, feel your feelings, feel your feelings, and that’s important, but I feel there’s a lot of projection going on in the world as far as everyone’s responsible for everyone’s feelings. So no one can say or do anything without offending someone. And I just don’t agree with that. We take responsibility for our traumas and what happened and we transform we do the work that I teach in this book, then it’s like, oh, now I’m here to help people. I’m here to like, bring my gifts. And that’s what we’re really here to do. We’re here to be of service. And I really love about this processes. It’s things that I’ve done, that have worked for me and and we talk about trauma, and we also talk about purpose.
Heather Pearce Campbell 24:26
So good. You refer to the book as both a book and a system. Do you want to give us a brief overview of the system is that the four stages piece?
Deidre Sirianni 24:37
I mean, this system is within the four stages, so I’ll share a little about four stages.
Heather Pearce Campbell 24:42
Yeah, perfect, perfect.
Deidre Sirianni 24:44
There’s four stages of turning your light on. And the first stage is your lights off. Okay? We all have light inside of us. Sometimes we feel super disconnected. We feel alone. We’re depressed. We have disease, whatever it is, your lights there. It’s Just turned off. And so it’s kind of like being in the forest in the middle of the night, Heather and you have no flashlight or your flashlight doesn’t work and you’re alone, you’re in the dark, you hear squirrels and other animals in the bushes. What do you do? Right? Probably hanging out behind a tree back to a tree and you’re in fear. You have anxiety, you’re not moving anywhere, you can’t see anything clearly. So what do you do? You stay stuck, you stay in one location, you stay safe. So how that translates into our life is we’re depressed, we feel stuck, we manifest disease, we’re disconnected from our emotions, we’re living in fear, we don’t know what our purpose is. And we don’t feel like we can move forward, what we need most in stage one of turning our light on in order to get to stage two, three and four, is we need to start understanding the language of the soul. The language of the soul comes through dis ease and symptoms, I take you through a process in the book where you can actually tune in to different things that are going on with you anxiety, fear, disconnection, physical manifestations, and through that process, your soul is going to give you a message on something that you haven’t been listening to, or an action that you need to take. And from there, the next stage is the flickering light stage. And this is the stage where you have a flashlight, you’re in the forest in the middle of the night, and sometimes the flashlights on and you’re moving forward, right? You moving forward, you’re feeling good, you have clarity, you know where you’re going, and then suddenly, what sometimes feels like out of nowhere, boom, flashlights off. What do we do, we get scared, we go back into our comfort zone, we go back into plain safe, we start feeling anxious, we step away from where we were going, we forget about where we’re going, we lose ourselves, right, and we go back to that stage one. So at this stage, what we need to understand the most is we need to understand our traumas, because our traumas, and also our imprints, which is the positive experiences are very much directly connected to our subconscious triggers. So we might be going about, you know, there was an event that I hosted years ago in Vancouver, and there were some things that happened around the experience that really impacted me in not the best way it brought up a lot of triggers around I can’t do this, you know, who am I and so after that event, I was like, I can’t run events for a while I need to recover from that, because it brought up all these wounds from my past, right. So if you’re an entrepreneur, and you’re listening to this, and you’re like you’re going about you’re doing things and then you opt out, you self sabotage, you’re not showing up for opportunities that are there what it is that you want. It’s because on a subconscious level, there are triggers and traumas that you’re not aware of. So we need to do that recalibration, healing the trauma, understanding and then transforming it into our gifts, then stage three is the bright light stage. And this is the fun stage, because you’re like, oh my gosh, I have so much energy, it’s so much momentum, there’s all of these things that I want to do that how it shows up in the physical world, just like a flashlight in the middle of the night that has no direction, you can see a meter to your right, a meter to your left in front of you. But you can’t see fully where you’re going. So you’re kind of running everywhere. And you’re doing the things of your life and business that you get the quick hits the external validation for you’re exhausting yourself, you may have resentment towards all of the opportunities that you have. And usually what happens is that mean during that main thing that your soul is pulling you to step into is usually on the back burner, and you’re not doing the one thing that’s going to make the film. So at this stage, you need to learn how to quiet the noise, understand where you’re going, trust yourself, have a mentor and people in your corner to support you in actualizing that so that you can manifest it. And then the fourth stage is the laser focused light. And that’s where you know where you’re going. People know where you’re going, you know where you’re going. People are showing up on your journey. You’re in a space of synchronicity and flow, and you’re in a legacy building mode and and you’re on purpose and you’re doing the work that you’re here to do. You’re fulfilled, you know who you are, and you’ve done that work. So the book essentially Heather is like a combination of learning how to quiet the noise, clear things from the past reprogram, understand your traumas, and how they’re gifts and then how to actualize that into the work that you’re here to do in the world.
Heather Pearce Campbell 29:43
It’s such a great like, I feel like for people who are visual and I think a lot are it’s such a great visual depiction, I think everybody can relate probably to multiple phases of that process, right? Is it ever the case that people make it partway through and slip backwards a phase out?
Deidre Sirianni 30:00
Yeah, yeah, it’s so common. And I think that like, it’s really about asking ourselves how much we’re choosing ourselves and showing up. Because sometimes like, we might be like, I don’t really feel like choosing myself today or something happens that comes out of left field in our life. Maybe we lose someone or a big life event happens. And then we step away from the things that are actually supporting us and we can slip back.
Heather Pearce Campbell 30:27
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I feel like it’s a winding path, sometimes not always a straight one. Well, I love the concept of quieting the noise. I feel like in modern life, there’s just so much figurative and literal noise, right all around us. Do you want to share with us a few tips for people that are listening? Or like, Yeah, I heard that to quiet the noise. And I feel like life is very noisy. Where do you have your clients start with that particular piece?
Deidre Sirianni 30:58
Yeah. So there’s a few, I actually wanted to open up the book right now to that chapter. Because in every single chapter, and I’m like, let’s go into it. The first thing really is to, you know, one of the pieces that I do, and this is more under radical rituals, which is about setting yourself up for success. And I talked about that in the book as well. It’s really about knowing what your intention is. So if you know what your intention is, before hopping on to a conversation like this, you know, chatting with a friend, or, you know, working with a client or doing anything or waking up today, we know our intention, it’s kind of like pulling back a bow and arrow, knowing exactly where it’s going and release them. The problem is most of us aren’t actually grabbing the bow and arrow, we’re not looking at where we’re going. And we’re not doing the work, which isn’t a lot of work. It’s just about getting clarity and taking a few moments and then pulling it back and releasing. So having an intention is so key for deciding the direction of your day and helping you recognize what the noise is. So if I know that my intention, I do this every single day, I’ve been doing this for five years, Monday to Friday, sending a friend a voice note every single day, Monday to Friday, not every day for five years. And I answer these four questions. How do I want to feel because I get to choose? And if I don’t feel that way, I can remind myself right get back on track. How do I want to show up? This is the energy that I bring this is the expression do I want to show up with energy? Do I want to show up with focus? The third one is what am I committed to what is something that I really want to make sure I’m committed to maybe today it’s finishing that project or being really present with people, whatever that is? And then the fourth one is, what’s my desired outcome? And if I’m able to answer those four questions at the start of my day, then I know, and I write it down, or I say it to someone, I know that I’m more likely to start to quiet the noise and actualize that.
Heather Pearce Campbell 33:00
Yeah, it was such a great response. Really, the noise can be anything that is not in alignment with your right path, right?
Deidre Sirianni 33:10
100%. So I have actually an exercise, I’m just going to open it to a random page. So one of the things that I do with a lot of my clients is we write down two lists. One is a joy list. These are all of the things that you love to do. Like for me, I love music. I love singing, I love dancing. I love spending time with my cats. I love yoga, like I just write down all the things I love. I love teaching, get me teaching, I won’t stop Heather, you’ll have to be like, stop talking to you. That’s enough. But just like I love teaching with like, what’s love? And then there’s other lists, what are the things that you have to do and the things that you feel obligated to or that you just do? Because you’ve always been doing them? And you just like brain dump all of those. And then you ask yourself the question, Who was I? When I said yes to this obligation? Who was I? What was my mindset? What were my belief systems? Okay, is this serving where I want to go? And how I want to feel and who I want to be? Or is it blocking me? Is it weighing me down? Or is it a boat with no engine? Right? Can I delegate it in business? Is this something I can delegate? Is this actually bringing results? Or is it something that I’m doing because I think I should be doing it? And if it’s a should, or it’s a weight or it’s outdated belief system, you crossed off the list, you have a conversation and you release them? You just do that with everything? Do I delegate do I release? Do I have an agreement to end it at a certain day and suddenly, that obligation list or the things that we do to fill our time gets a lot shorter, and then we can spend more time plugging into the joy which actually is the fuel for the results in our business in our life? So that’s an exercise that I love to do.
Heather Pearce Campbell 34:57
So good. I mean, I’m even starting though When I think about some of the folks coming out of the pandemic that I know that are like, I don’t even know what I enjoyed doing. Yeah, you didn’t mean like they would even maybe have a hard time making the joy list. Yeah. And I know plenty of folks even starting this year that are like I’m having a really hard time digging in.
Deidre Sirianni 35:18
Yeah, I would say to anyone who’s not sure what your joy list is, I used to not even know what I liked. Maybe like five or six years ago, when I went through that transition in my life, because I was just doing the things that my partner wanted to do and who I thought I should be like, I really was disconnected. And what I found was, the more I stopped doing the things that felt heavy, the more energy and capacity I had to do to explore. And then just going and doing something new every week. It’s like, okay, this week, I’m gonna go for a hike, you know, and next week, I’m going to try that dance class, you know, I’m going to try guitar lessons, like just try a bunch of things, try all of them on and make time for it, and then see what sticks and let go of what doesn’t because I never thought I would be into music. I never thought I would be into writing in it. Those are two of my favorite things to do.
Heather Pearce Campbell 36:10
Right? Yes, I will. And I think so great. Even this concept of just allowing yourself to explore because different phases of life, I think allow for different expressions and different things that we enjoy to come out. Like you said that you may not even have known if you haven’t done it before, right?
Deidre Sirianni 36:30
Exactly. Yeah. And just giving us permission to not be perfect. I think as we learn, we have this belief system of like, Oh, I’m not naturally good at that, so…
Heather Pearce Campbell 36:42
Unless I’m already good at that.
Deidre Sirianni 36:46
To be a goof and not have it all figured out.
Heather Pearce Campbell 36:48
Oh, it’s such a great reminder. I remember going to my son’s recital, he he completed his first year of ukulele lessons. And so cute had to go to a little recital and perform and all the teachers through this, you know, musical group brought their students there. And so they were all different. You know, there were vocalists there were guitarists, there were pianists there. You know, Aiden played the ukulele. Anyways, I just remember thinking, how much courage it took for every little kid that got up there, especially the vocal like, I remember thinking like, that takes real courage, you know, to stand in front of a group of people you don’t know as a little kid and like sing a song. And I remember actually thinking like, what I even have the courage to do that now to like, force myself through, like singing lessons and get in front of people if it like, I couldn’t answer the question. Like, I don’t know, I don’t know if I have that kind of courage. But it actually was a really fun mental exercise around like, what would I want to do? What calls me to the point of overcoming that fear with courage? Because it’s so enticing, right to go? Go do and I think that’s, that can be an easy thing to get away from as an adult.
Deidre Sirianni 38:06
Yeah, I mean, even with vocal lessons, I started singing last year, and I remember being like, I want to get into singing. And then my first voice lesson, I was like, like I was, I was like, clogged with like, like your tail between the legs. Like I was just like, shut down. And it took so much time and courage and practice to relax to open up. And I think that and now I’m, I’m excited because I’m writing my own music. I’m doing my own songs, and I’m hoping to perform in the next year in audience, but I really sucked. It was really scary. Part of everything that’s part of entrepreneurship, that’s part of writing a book and part of most things, right, you gotta just be okay with the awkwardness at the beginning to get to the good stuff.
Heather Pearce Campbell 38:58
Oh, totally. Well, and maybe this ties in actually to the question that I wanted to ask next, which was, what do you see? Being the biggest barrier for people as far as like walking that path and up leveling to them? Because you never get there? Right? There’s always like a next step, a next step, a next step, what do you see in your work with your clients tending to be the biggest barrier?
Deidre Sirianni 39:23
Oh, well, I’m thinking specifically of a couple things. One of them, I think it has to do with sales. And sometimes we can have this idea or people have an idea around money and sales and putting themselves out there that they’re gonna look stupid, or no one’s gonna buy or this isn’t gonna work. And I was just coaching a client of mine recently, when she was launching her first signature program. And she was like, whoa, whoa, didn’t want to do the work because it was scary for her and she already has an established business and I was like, I want you to do these things. And she did. She wanted to quit, because it was new to her. And then she had a $20,000 week, her biggest financial week ever. And she’s like, Oh my gosh, see this works. And it’s because I was there beside her like saying, keep going, keep going, keep going, just do the things. And sometimes we need a cheerleader. I know I do. Um, and so I think sometimes we have this idea that something’s not going to work, because we really just have a fear of looking stupid, or fear of success. So I would say the biggest block is fully going in on something that you don’t know, is going to work. I know my processes work, because I’ve done them. But I think the biggest barrier is most people would be like, Oh, I’m gonna put a foot into the pool or into the water. And just roll that out. Yeah. And then from there, I’m going to decide if I want to or not. So I think the biggest barrier with this is probably with love with everything in life, it’s are you actually all in and doing the full process? Or are you telling yourself that it didn’t work for you or blaming other people or not taking responsibility? And then you’re investing in all these programs, all these things not getting results? But really, the truth was, you never actually went all in? So yeah, I would say not going all in not trusting in the process. And if you go all in and you follow the process, you’re not going to know if it works. I think people give up too quickly. That’s it that the answer?
Heather Pearce Campbell 41:32
Well, man, I mean, that feels like a whole topic we could dig into right, even before we went live, we were talking about clients that show up and make their problems, your problems, right. And on the legal side, I obviously help with those problems. And the point that you just made around people not fully showing up for themselves. So they purchase a program, a course whatever they attend, you know, two or three times in a six month period where they should have been attending, you know, 24 times or whatever. And then they’re like, Oh, it didn’t work, I want my money back. Right, which you see a lot in the coaching and consulting space is not it not as in like the majority of people that come through your client, but you see, like, every coach or consultant, at some point has an experience like this in their business with somebody just not showing up to do the work, and then making it the other person’s problem, right, as if somehow, they should have gotten results and only showed up, you know, 3% of the time. So yeah, I think that’s a huge one. And I, you know, it’s interesting, because when I look at my own life, like, Okay, what have I shown up to? Where have I not shown up? You know, it’s, it’s sometimes in the not showing up that our most important lessons arise? And I think, you know, so it’s like, there’s no one size fits all to this, but it’s about showing up to the right thing, because you know, it’s the right thing. And I think a lot of times people show up to the wrong thing. And they’re still not getting results, because it’s not the right thing, right. So there’s the big conversation around what you show up to and how you decide what to show up to.
Deidre Sirianni 43:16
Yeah, and I feel like this is also related to the people that you surround yourself with, if you’re in the right environments, things happen really quickly and are great. And if you’re in the wrong environments, things can feel really challenging. And then going back to this story around trauma, or like, our, you know, how we show up, you know, is this because I am resisting something or I’m triggered? Or is it because it’s the wrong environment? Or you know what I mean? Like, there’s so much work to be explored there. But yeah, I love this conversation around doing the right things rather than the wrong…
Heather Pearce Campbell 43:55
Yeah, that piece is just a journey. And I think it’s really important for us to slow down and listen to folks like yourself about that going inward as well, because I think so often and doing that even with guidance, right? Because a lot of people are like, what does that even mean? I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be watching for, are they they get so many mixed messages, or they’ve told themselves this story that originated from a childhood trauma for so long? They don’t know how to unwind it on their own. Right? There’s a lot of complexity there even in how you do this journey, right with support. But it’s such an important one that we all continue to look at, like, am I walking the path and doing the process or am I just on autopilot, which is why these problems are showing up? Right? It’s so easy to slip into autopilot especially when we reach new levels of proficiency. Right autopilot just like wants to take out over again. And so it’s really an exercise in, in being very intentional about how we continue to expand and grow and challenge ourselves 100%. And I love this because we had talked about this as well, before we we went live in the conversation, the difference between us intellectually doing something or trying to make something happen versus, again, getting back to this whole question around, like, what is the right choice? Can you talk to us a little bit about that, because I think a lot of people think like, oh, I’m doing the things I am doing my best and intellectually they know the steps they know, or whatever it is that they’re facing. But if there’s a really important piece of that conversation they might be missing.
Deidre Sirianni 45:47
I feel like there’s a couple of things there. Number one is the energy that we bring behind what we’re doing. If one of the things that we discover with those that I work with, we discover your energetic signature, and then through discover your energetic signature that’s brought into every area of your life. So for me, I’m an energetic, so I’m energy movement expansion, which means that I need to be excited and have energy towards a project or a thing like excitement. And then I will take the actions that I need to take. And then as a result, things are going to expand really quickly. So if I’m an energetic starter, but I’m trying to do things, but my energy isn’t behind it, it’s not going to work, I’m going to quit, I’m going to force I’m going to be challenging. So that’s one of the things that we work on. Because to me, it’s actually the foundation of how I live my life. And when we know that signature, and we incorporate it everywhere. We’re like, Oh, that’s not for me. Or that might be for me, but not right now. So we can start to make better decisions in our business in life. But as far as like the question of, are we operating from, you know, the place of the mind and figuring things out or more flow and sola? So about a year ago, I went to Mexico, and I spent a few months there. And as a result, I got to meet my favorite author in the world, James Twyman and he wrote the foreword of my book, and he’s, we’ve become friends. But before I went to Mexico, like a few months before, then I was like, do I go to Costa Rica? Or do I go to Bali? Because those are familiar. And those are places that I know that I like, okay, so it’s familiar in my space. So it’s back and forth. And like, Bali, Costa Rica, Bali, Costa Rica. And then I realized, I’m like, I’m doing a pros and cons list. And I know that if I’m doing a pros and cons list, it ain’t right. It’s not the…
Heather Pearce Campbell 47:52
Tell tale signal for you.
Deidre Sirianni 47:54
Yeah, like it’s not, you know, and I think that we think too much. We try to figure things out too much. So, within that, I took a step back, and I said to the universe, I said, Okay, listen, let me know, but I need to know, by this date, because I’m renting out my house, like I want to be gone. And then of course, that day, at the end of my mastermind retreat, a friend of mine came over Karen McGregor, I think you know, her, and she’s like, I’m going to Mexico. And then I had this lightbulb moment, Heather, where I was like, Oh, my gosh, I’ve been getting so many signs for Mexico. But I haven’t been seen them. Because I was so focused on something else. And then of course, I go there, I need my favorite author opens up other opportunities. So I think the first thing is recognizing when you’re trying to figure it out, to take a step back, ask for what you need. And let the answer come organically because usually, you’re getting signs, you’re just not seeing it.
Heather Pearce Campbell 48:52
That story about perspective is so like, it’s one of those, like, when you’ve had that happen in your life, like oh, it was there, I just didn’t see it. You know, that’s such a great example. And like, look at what a lovely outcome came from you’re just making that different decision. Right?
Deidre Sirianni 49:11
Not saying that Costa Rica was wrong or Bali was not a great time. It just wouldn’t have been this wouldn’t have been it right Right.
Heather Pearce Campbell 49:19
Right. Yeah. It’s about like optimizing the sequence so that we’re not expending all this energy doing other things when maybe there was a better choice.
Deidre Sirianni 49:30
Yeah, like How good can it get, like show me how good this can get?
Heather Pearce Campbell 49:35
I love that. How good can it get? I’m curious and out of respect for your time this will be our last question and then we’ll invite people to connect with you but on the energetics I love that like that you have a process are something that you go through to help people determine and I don’t know what you use. I’ve learned recently my sister’s way into like human design and you know, and it was explaining the difference. She’s a manifester. And like between manifesting generators, manifester, is that right? I know that there’s different modalities out there for looking at like, do you wait and see what shows up? Do you have a lot of activation energy and you just go out in the world and make things happen? What do you have a particular system that you’d like or use when you’re talking about like learning somebody’s energy imprint?
Deidre Sirianni 50:24
Yeah. So I actually just look at their body and we work on like, how they breathe and how they show up and based on the body and their energetic system we don’t need to do astrology or any of them got it. Yeah. It just knows within a few cycles of breath this is how you live your life and now this is and then as soon as people hear what theirs is they’re like of course. Of course it doesn’t work of course that doesn’t work of course this is the way I’m and it’s within just like a few cycles of breath tuning into a few pieces. And it’s like your signature.
Heather Pearce Campbell 50:59
Fascinating. Oh my gosh, well, I for one, I’m so excited to go pick up your book and learn more I’ve seen you post about it online. Huge. Congratulations. I know that’s a monumental achievement to get that done. For folks that are listening in are like oh my gosh, I need to go learn more about Deidre, I need to go see what she’s up to in her work currently. Where would you like to send them?
Deidre Sirianni 51:24
Yeah, so I have my website is radicallyaligned.com I’m all on Instagram. I am Deidre Sirianni, you can grab my book, Turn Your Light On. And I have a really awesome quiz. So if you’ve been listening, and you’re like, I think I’m stage two and stage one and stage four. Any of this has resonated you can go to the quiz that I have that will tell you what stage you’re operating mainly at in your life right now. And it also comes with a free video training and a downloadable worksheet that’s actually going to share specific things that are recommended on your journey now to help you step more into your light and into your gifts. And I’m leaving a link below.
Heather Pearce Campbell 52:07
Oh, totally. I love that. Yes, if you’re listening pop over and check that out. We’re gonna share the link to her quiz her website her various social links over at legalwebsitewaarior.com/podcast find Deidre’s episode and Deidre, I’m so sorry, because I think I said your last name Sirianni. And I heard you say Sirianni.
Deidre Sirianni 52:27
You know what? I didn’t hear the difference when you said okay.
Heather Pearce Campbell 52:30
Whatever, we’ll just go with it. So you heard Deidre pronounce her own name the right way. There you go. I care a lot that I do that so that’s why I asked and then I was like, wait, I actually said it wrong. Okay. So if you’re listening, be sure to pop over connect with Deidre, Deidre, it’s been such a joy to see you again and hear more about your journey and your story and your own shifts in your work. I love your message. I’m super excited that your book is out there in the world. What for the folks that are listening, what final either takeaway or action step, it could be a to do like, if you want to have people go do something or just leave them with a thought, what would that be?
Deidre Sirianni 53:13
Hmm, let me just tune in for a second and see who wants to come through. Okay, this is the message that’s really clear is if you have something that you want to create, whether it’s a book, you want to be a coach, you want to do anything, you want to move somewhere. But everyone in the world around you is telling you, you can’t or you have a history of people saying you can’t do that. I actually believe it’s a sign that you are meant for that. I’ve had so many people like I I joked that I’m going to send this to one of my old teachers, because she actually, you know, like, my English teacher was like, hated all my stuff, right? Like, it was pretty good. And people say I’m a natural writer. But the truth is, a lot of the times your challenges and what you think you can’t do are the things that you must do. So if you’re getting that inkling, lean into it, and you’ll surprise yourself. I surprised myself with the book and I got incredible feedback from it. And I always thought I could never write a book because I had challenges learning and writing and writing was my hardest. One of the hardest things for me to do. I would have all of my essays back in school and English covered in red. It was my hardest class me writing so far. But once you do it, it’s like oh, that was an initiation. And a lot of our challenges are just initiations to what is for us. So keep leaning in, keep showing up, get the support and believe in yourself.
Heather Pearce Campbell 54:41
Oh my gosh, I love that. I mean that the phrase that you just said a lot of our challenges are initiations. It’s so beautiful. Such a great way to reframe you know, and for those of us that are in a challenge right now to reframe that experience, right. These read thank you so much. I’m so grateful for you. I’m so happy that you came and share it today.
Deidre Sirianni 55:04
Me too. Thank you so much for having me.
GGGB Outro 55:07
Thank you for joining us today on the Guts, Grit and Great Business® podcast. We hope that we’ve added a little fuel to your tank, some coffee to your cup and pep in your step to keep you moving forward in your own great adventures. For key takeaways, links to any resources mentioned in today’s show and more, see the show notes which can be found at www.legalwebsitewarrior.com/podcast. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast and if you enjoyed today’s conversation, please give us some stars and a review on Apple podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcast so others will find us too. Keep up the great work you are doing in the world and we’ll see you next week.