Guts, Grit & Great Business Podcast
May 18th, 2021
The Dangers of Compounding Pressure
With Andrea Carter, a Gender Diversity & Inclusion Specialist and Learning & Development Consultant who uses neuroscience research to support human capital. She is the CEO & Founder of Wealthy Woman Warrior and Building Better Organizations. She brings over 18 years of research and practical application to her training, public speaking and proven methods that support leaders, and their teams, to produce good work despite high pressure situations and imperfect conditions.
Andrea is best known for her ability to bridge the gaps by creating collaborative working environments fueled by human power. She is also highly recognized for helping women advance their professional careers in male dominated industries.
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Biggest takeaways (or quotes) you don’t want to miss:
- The dangers of comparison (to others) during this high-stress time.
- The majority of people haven’t had a nervous system reset (during covid). Because of that, we are in an overreactive state of mind.
- On the down days, it’s not about saying “my life is amazing, everything is going to be fine.” It’s really important for people to understand that your job is not to interrupt a negative thought pattern with a positive one; it’s about redirecting your brain to what you DO have control over, what you DO have choice in. This will lessen the pain response.
- The benefits of boredom and its relationship to creativity.
Check out these highlights:
5:04: There is a big distinction between compounding pressure and stress. (Listen to what it is!)
10:50: When you have a worry, when you have the thought: “Am I going to be able to keep doing this?” – That thought actually triggers your nervous system, and causes a hormone / stress response. One of the key pieces is how important what you say to yourself is, from moment to moment.
21:34: Why the focus on resilience has been detrimental and is the wrong messaging for us on “down days.”
38:12: There is no way to measure compounding pressure and measure it from one person to the next person. Which is why you should not be looking at your neighbor and say “well they are bouncing back, I should be able to just bounce back.”
41:15: I would normally “push through.” But instead I took a nap. These are the times, that if you can, take your pause, pick your pauses, schedule pauses. We need to start making “me time” a priority so that we can really come back to feeling okay.
How to get in touch with Andrea:
On social media:
FB Biz Page: https://www.facebook.com/therealtribethrive/
Learn more about Andrea on her website here.
GET ANDREA’S FREE GIFT: Get “The Undoing Effect” here, to reclaim happiness, confidence and energy.
Imperfect Show Notes
We are happy to offer these imperfect show notes to make this podcast more accessible to those who are hearing impaired or those who prefer reading over listening. While we would love to offer more polished show notes, we are currently offering an automated transcription (which likely includes errors, but hopefully will still deliver great value), below.
GGGB Intro 0:00
Coming up today on Guts, Grit and Great Business.
Andrea Carter 0:04
When you start believing in yourself, and you start surrounding yourself with people who are saying similar positive things. I mean, it’s it’s a very small if you look at organizational structure, you don’t need a ton of people to influence the behavior within culture. You need a small group who believes in it and who model that. And it is fascinating to watch how fast corporate culture can change when you have the right people that are modeling it.
GGGB Intro 0:40
The Adventure of entrepreneurship and building a life and business you love, preferably at the same time is not for the faint of heart. That’s why Heather Pearce Campbell is bringing you a dose of Guts, Grit and Great Business stories that will inspire and motivate you to create what you want in your business and life. Welcome to the Guts, Grit and Great Business podcast where endurance is required. Now, here’s your host, The Legal Website Warrior®, Heather Pearce Campbell.
Heather Pearce Campbell 1:13
Welcome. I am Heather Pearce Campbell, The Legal Website Warrior®. I’m an attorney and legal coach based here in Seattle, Washington. Welcome to another episode of Guts, Grit and Great Business. And this one, we are also streaming live. So Andrea, I’m always happy to see you. Oh, my goodness. So for those of you watching, welcome to Andrea Carter. She’s one of my favorite Canadians. I have friends and Andrew is at the top of the list. We met Gosh, what is it been almost a year ago? Because I think it was. Yeah, it was it was September. That’s right. Like just a few days passed. So we’ve officially known each other for more than a year. And Andrea was one of those. One of those people that I met at the conference, and I always have a few of them like, Oh, this is why I was at this conference. I was supposed to me Andrea, right? So we’ve been in touch since it’s been so fun to get to know you and your work and the amazing ways that you support people in the world, both men and women, but particularly with a focus on women. For folks that don’t know, Andrea, and one of the reasons I love her, she’s a fellow. She’s a fellow warrior. I mean, I think all moms are warriors, you know, mostly, but I really love that she’s got warrior in her branding. So Andrea Carter is a gender diversity and inclusion specialist and learning and development consultant, who uses neuroscience, which I love, neuroscience research to support human capital. She is the CEO and founder of wealthy woman warrior and building better organizations. She brings over 18 years of research and practical application to her training, public speaking and proven methods that support leaders and their teams to produce good work despite high pressure situations and imperfect conditions. Oh my gosh, talk about high pressure situations right now. Right, whether we’re in organizations or not, whether we’re our own, you know, little solo entrepreneurs, there’s a lot of pressure to go around. Andrea is best known for her ability to bridge the gaps by creating collaborative working environments fueled by human power. She is also highly recognized for helping women advance their professional careers in male dominated industries. And that I mean, that really rings close to home for me, because I’m in one, many women are right. But I know you have some recent things going on. I know you’ve got some, like recent programs and topics that you’re focusing on. Why don’t I let you talk a little bit. I mean, if you can fill in the gaps for for folks listening to describe more of who you are, but also you know what your work is about?
Andrea Carter 3:56
Sure. I’d love that. Thank you. And so nice to be here. I feel so privileged always whenever I get to do any work with you, Heather, and it’s nice to be with this audience. So I’m really excited. So I started doing this work, probably about six years ago, up until six years ago, I primarily worked with mindset and performance. And what’s really interesting is that we’re seeing the intersection now between both of those elements and with the pandemic, and then with all of the other extenuating situations, whether that’s bipoc or, you know, Black Lives Matter or everything that’s happening within our environmental factors as well. Yep. We are really struggling with compounding pressures right now. So my research you know, I think the initial piece before I did neuroscience certification with Harvard was looking at the lens through anxiety and stress. And what I’ve come to realize is that there’s actually a very big distinction between compounding pressure and stress. And we’re not aware of that we don’t understand what that means. And so there are these elements of how the brain responds to stressors. But then there’s elements of how the brain responds to pressure. And if we just break down pressure just for a moment, so that we all are on the same page pressure, is the interpretation that you were in a do or die situation, how you respond, is then going to determine whether you live or die. Okay. So typically, you know, we do pre COVID, our pressures, we’re presenting our pressure over getting our kids out of the door in the morning before getting ourselves to work. Our pressures were financial pressures, our pressures, were looking at, you know, advancing our career or making you know, the sale that we needed to make. But now we’re in a situation where every single day, people are waking up in the morning, from the moment they wake up, they are bombarded with zoom meetings, they are bombarded with, you know, kids are back at school now. So now, all of those authorizations and the permission forms and the potential issues around COVID. Each time, you have one more thing put on to your mental plate, your brain registers that as pressure and have a neurochemical response that can often react as a pain response. And so what’s happening is that if you look, you know, back to march to where we are today, that compounding pressure has not stopped. Yeah, it has continued. And we have this like little lull. I know here in Canada, it is a little bit different, because over the summer, our COVID numbers really slow down. And we are in this beautiful pocket of people being able to interact. So this is another compound and Crusher. Humans are not used to not being around each other, actually detrimental to our nervous system. And it’s very detrimental to how our brains fire and how they burn. And so, so many people now, because of these compounding pressures, they’re feeling tired. They’re feeling anxious, they’re feeling as if I have no idea how I’m gonna make it through. And I can’t tell you, like I’m saying those words. Because I hear that from customers and my clients, whether they’re corporate or private, every single day, there is not a meeting that I have, that there isn’t a person that’s articulating those exact words. So I think the first thing we need to say is, Hey, this is the norm. So don’t if this is where you’re at, first of all, take the pressure off yourself that you’re not doing this right. Many of us think well, it appears because natural tendency we compare ourselves to so and so. But you’re comparing yourself to so and so in whatever light they’re putting on for the day.
Heather Pearce Campbell 8:33
Well, and I think yes, i that is such an important point. And there’s a group of girlfriends that we all were really close friends at university and we’re on Marco Polo chat together, right? So we can hop on we’re all moms now. And anyways, one of them is a professor at a university and she and they’re doing partly in class sessions, and her job is in part to also help welcome in the freshman class. I think it’s easy to think like, Oh, well, certain people are still doing okay, and like some people are still interacting, like we’ve been on hardcore quarantine here in Seattle, right, like since March one like literally the first people that we’ve seen since March one is my sister who came to town to escape the organ fires, right? So been intense, but even hearing from and her name is Rose the other day, she talked about how hard the freshmen you know, college students are struggling and how they are all every single one when she does like intake with them and sits down and you know, helps them plan for their year. Say how lonely they are, how challenged they are how unbelievably, you know, different this is than they thought it was gonna be. I mean, everybody is being challenged.
Andrea Carter 9:47
Yeah. I think the big piece about that, again, it goes back to the neuroscience, right it goes back to the fact that your brain is actually releasing neuro chemicals that are also amplifying your day to day. thoughts. So, thought that you have actually has some sort of energetic response. And it either adds to your energy. That’s why, you know, you get on a call with someone, and they are awesome. And you leave that call, and you’re, wow, I feel amazing. I just want to be around that person all the time. There’s a reason for that, like, that’s actually neuro chemistry. And what’s really interesting right now, though, is that the majority of people haven’t had a nervous system reset, and would that mean, haven’t had a pause, or enough of a pause for our nervous systems to actually calm back down. And so because of that, we’re now in a very over reactive state of mind. And when you have a worry, when you have a thought of Am I going to be able to keep doing this, and that’s the phrase that a lot of people are saying right now, that phrase actually triggers your nervous system, and it causes you to go into what I call this spiral of anxiety, fear, worry. And what happens is that you actually have some hormones that are released, that cause you to dip in your mood, and how you are feeling. So when we’re looking at how to move forward, one of the key pieces that, you know, if I could spread this message across the world, how important what you say to yourself is, in the moment. And the reason that’s so key, I know, it sounds so simple, but think about all the times that you know, you’ve had a thought maybe there’s been a fear around your kids, you know, being in school, or doing the online learning, or maybe there’s fear around money, or maybe there’s fear around how you’re just gonna juggle it all. It’s not just that one thought I use, you have the first initial thought. And then the thought keeps going right. And then you you somehow and this is the cool part of the brain, the brain actually pulls up a memory. And the memory is often not a positive memory, because the brain is wired negatively, so that we stay a lot, right. And because of that, we will often go to a negative memory. So you’re challenging yourself with the concept of, can I keep doing this, which is then somehow attached to maybe a family member that said something negative to you within the past couple of months, and you then start believing that negative statement, then that other family member had said, and it may not even be that the family member meant it in a negative way you’ve perceived it to be and then the doubt start spiraling. So likely we can relate to this, right? Like we can all have a mental check and go Yeah, that’s been happening. And I think that’s why we’re seeing such a massive issue with women exiting the workplace. So we already know that, you know, women’s jobs are 1.8 times more vulnerable to the pandemic right now. And specifically, in comparison to men’s jobs. And we know that women make up 39% of the global employment and account for about 54% of overall job loss from May 2020. Until now,
Heather Pearce Campbell 13:49
What percentage of overall job loss?
Andrea Carter 13:51
That’s 54%. So we know that we are on a really critical point right now. And what that means that because it’s not just men and women that are being affected, yes, disproportionate to women. But what we have to keep in mind is that as we’re moving forward, and getting out of this, and figuring out what that new normal is going to be, we actually have to look at what the pressure is going to end up being on men, if you don’t go back, and if we don’t start putting some direction into how we’re going to support women and support men, because otherwise, you know, they’re throwing out numbers. So I’m just going to read this to you because it’s really important. It’s from Harvard Business Review. It was released September 16. So this is like really important new down. But we’re talking about if we do not do anything to take action right now. For gender equity, it will be 13 trillion to our global GDP. In 2030, compared to if we just take a little bit of action, we’re at a 5 trillion loss. Mm hmm. So these numbers like, you know, and we’re looking at this, and so I’m going to circle back to, you know, our compounding pressure. The reason this is happening is because we do have all of the extra elements that are placed on, most women have the burden of unpaid care, which is, you know, clearly risen during the pandemic. However, we also have the inability to reset that nervous system. And so when we’re looking when we’re doing the comparison between Hey, okay, who’s going to go back to work? Who’s going to who’s going to stay home? Who’s going to reduce their hours? Who’s going to take care of the kids who’s going to make sure that the online learning is working? All of those elements are fueling into that thought process? How am I going to get through this? Yeah, and that, that question, that’s the first thing that we actually need to start with. Because if we don’t start changing the way that we’re articulating, where we’re going to move forward to the neuroscience, and your brain chemistry is going to continue to pull you back, allowing you to believe that you can’t do it. And so going back even to your girlfriend that you were talking about with the with the freshmen, you know, one of the things that if I could speak to those students, the best thing that we can do is interrupt that element of feeling like you can’t do this. So even that statement, catch yourself saying that statement, stop saying it like literally stop mid take a breath, because the other piece to this is because our nervous systems are so reactive, we have not been breathing properly.
Heather Pearce Campbell 16:58
Yeah, oh, I can I can attest to that. I mean, when you I have a woman who’s, she’s just everybody needs her. She’s an acupuncturist. But every time I see her, she’s like, reminding me, she just must observe that I don’t take full breaths or something. And so she’s always talking to me about doing breathing techniques. And so it’s really true, if you don’t pay attention, like your breathing becomes shallower and shallower, when you’re carrying stress,
Andrea Carter 17:27
We don’t breathe, we actually don’t get enough oxygen into our blood flow, which means that we don’t actually oxygenate our brains properly, we stopped thinking, clearly.
Heather Pearce Campbell 17:39
Oh my gosh, that brain fog that sets in.
Andrea Carter 17:41
It is and so when we talk, you know, and and it’s interesting, because it’s not just, you know, men and women, they do respond differently. And there’s only a 1% difference between the male brain and the female brain, because of certain areas that are, you know, bigger in the male brain versus bigger, and the female brain and vice versa. You know, we respond, we act, we behave differently. And because of those elements, it also means that the the negative pressures that we are willing, for there is an amplification that women are experiencing. But the scales are going to tip if we’re not careful of how of what we’re doing now. Right. So, really, when we look at, you know, the compounding pressure element, compounding pressure changes our behavior and how we make decisions. These are the like, this is the the propensity for people to opt out because they feel like they can’t take that next step. And well, I am fully on board with looking at your priorities and what needs to go first. I also think it’s really important for us to start putting self as a priority, which means that you know, coming back to believing in yourself to the world believes there is a really cool mechanism that happens when you start believing in yourself. And you start surrounding yourself with people who are saying similar positive things. I mean, it’s, it’s very small, if you look at organizational structure, you don’t need a ton of people to influence the behavior within culture. You need a small group who believes in it and who model that. And it is fascinating to watch how fast corporate culture can change when you have the right people that are modeling it.
Heather Pearce Campbell 19:50
Consumer, which is why leadership matters. So so much, right? His method of leadership, the way that you speak to your team, and all of that So backtracking just a little bit because I’m intrigued around this idea of like pattern interrupt, right? What happens when we notice these thoughts that are, you know, bringing in stress and have to do with, you know, questioning whether or not we can get through this. One thing I’ve noticed that I keep falling back on is, like, look at where we started, like, I literally remember in March, because I went to a business conference, the very end of February came home, and we were in the pandemic here in Seattle, right, we were ground zero, we went into lockdown. I pulled my kid out of school a week early, you know, before the school system shut down, because I could see it coming. And that was like, literally like March 1, right? So we’re at the end of September, right? March, April, May, June, July, August, September. And what I tell myself is like, Look, we’re seven months in, like, yeah, some days are hard. But look, we’re holding it together, our family is healthy. Our family is happy unit. I mean, and that’s when I when I start looking at where we’ve been and how far we’ve come, I’m like, Okay, if we had to do this, you know, and who knows, really how much longer this is going to go could be year could be year and a half could be, you know, depending on what solutions are out there. But I just keep saying like, Look, we’ve done it already. Right? Certainly, there’s room for improvement on certain things, but we’ve already done it for a good chunk of time, like we can keep going.
Andrea Carter 21:32
When I think that’s just it, right? Like so many people are focused on the element of resilience of bouncing back. I think that’s actually been detrimental for a while. Because the the initiation of resilience puts the responsibility on every single person to be able to bounce back in any situation at any given time. And I think that’s the wrong messaging. Because there are days where you are going to have a down day, but on your down days, and here’s, you know, back to the pattern interrupt. Yeah, one of the down days, it’s not so much about like pretending like, oh, everything’s fine, this is gonna be amazing. And my life is amazing.
Heather Pearce Campbell 22:18
Thank you for saying that. Thank you for saying that. Because, you know, I
Andrea Carter 22:21
Whiplash myself thinking like, No, I can’t, I can’t acknowledge how hard it is, I need to be changing my mindset, you know, those of us who understand the power of mindset, like it’s really hard to have. And that’s the piece. So I think it’s really important for people to understand that your job isn’t to interrupt that negative thought pattern with a positive one, interrupt the negative thought pattern and go, Okay, I have no control over what’s happening right now. What do I have control over? You, I have choice in because when you remove choice from human nature, you actually take away a person’s power. So going back to that pain response, when you take away somebody’s empowerment to choose, you create a syndicated element of pain. So what we need to do is we need to be able to take a step back and, you know, let’s change the messaging around resilience and bouncing back. Let’s change it to Can we just interrupt from look at what we have the capability to choose in this moment. Take a breath. So we get some oxygen back to our brain. And then as I was talking about with those negative memories, choose a positive memory where you were able to get through positive results. That is the key can comment. So you know, I was sharing with you before we went live that I’m a I’m a peleton. Writer, and I love my peloton app. But my family because we can all see you know what everyone’s doing on the app. My family knows that when they see that there’s a dolly parton ride that Robin our zone does. And I mean, Dhoni has always been like an icon for me. However, she’s not something I necessarily like to ride to like, you know, I’m kind of eclectic with my music, especially when I’m pushing myself because I’m not that I want to beat my record every single week, right? That’s not possible. When my family see that Dolly Parton ride has been brought up in that week. They know that that’s also part of my research, because my memories with Dolly Parton music are positive memories for what I’m doing. Even That ride, even in that ride, that ride, I’ll be thinking about, you know, so and so said this, or how did I do this? Or did I manage this properly? You know, I think of my children. And when you’re writing, you’re thinking, thinking, thinking, and then you’re listening to the instructor who is giving you all of this positive feedback. Mm hmm. But the music and the thought process of what that memory does, for me, is actually way more important than saying to myself, push harder. Yeah, be happy, or even be grateful, because I think that there’s a lot of mixed messaging around gratitude right now as well. Hmm. And I think what we have to realize is that, if we look at this, from a purely science based perspective, what we can do for ourselves is actually reset not only the way that our brain is functioning and how we’re thinking, but we can also reset the way that we are reacting. So going back to more of a response versus a reaction, because likely, you’ve had the experience where you’ve made a statement, and you can tell that you’ve upset someone without realizing that you’ve upset them. And that’s not necessarily on the person who’s made the statement, but on how much compounding pressure the person has been under.
Heather Pearce Campbell 26:23
Yeah, yeah. No, it’s a good point. Well, and there’s, you know, I think the the hard thing about compounding pressure is recognizing the compounding, right? Like, I think that it’s it, it will hit you in moments like one day, there’ll be just something that, like, I’ve had these moments where something feels so extraordinarily challenging, right, and I just look at it. And I remember, I don’t know how the first few weeks of COVID felt for other people, but I felt like I was in fight or flight for like three weeks straight. He didn’t mean the news was very triggering, like, like, there were so many unknowns, like my heart was constantly racing. And I think you’re right, like, luckily, I’m no longer in that, like, arouse physical state. But it lasted for a long time. And it was very, very stressful. And this question that you asked about, what can I control? Like, I went there pretty quickly and immediately began, like looking at food storage, and, you know, assessing our family’s halt, and, you know, doing what I could in regards to nutrition and research and, you know, getting vitamin, you know, all the things right, but it made me feel better. Yes, it really even those tiny little things like brought stress levels down because I could take action, I could do something in regards to what I could control. I had an element of control.
Andrea Carter 27:49
Yes, controllable situation. Totally. And I think that that’s the piece, right, we’re used to some, at least some element of stability, and we’re living in a world that’s consistently changing, where we, that stability that we’re used to having is no longer there for us. And so at this point in time, the more that we can notice, what we do have control over, the more we notice. Okay, so I have control over this. Where have I had a positive experience with this element? How can I just remember that positive experience right now and just, you know, taking a breath to think about it is also part of what changes that negative into a positive, so you don’t have to be positive. But you have to just remember when it worked out for you?
Heather Pearce Campbell 28:43
Yeah. No, I think, you know, it’s, I really love what you said about resilience. And I think we really punish ourselves for not always staying in a positive mindset. And just the pattern interrupt piece of just observing. And breathing I think, is really powerful. Because I do think it’s okay for us to acknowledge, like, there’s an event that I normally attend that’s happening right now, and I’m not attending it. And when I got asked to participate, I was like, sorry, I hit a wall, like this month. I’m saying no to everything until I feel like saying yes, again.
Andrea Carter 29:23
Remember that even though you’re you know, that’s one of the things that you’re doing, that’s actually a way to reset your your nervous system again, because one of the things that our brain has to go through is we have to go into a place of almost boredom. And when you can get to a place of almost boredom, what happens is that your brain then seeks for creativity and for different ways of behaving. But we can’t get to that until we hit that place. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t know too many people who are bored right now.
Heather Pearce Campbell 29:57
No, no, and I Use. Yeah. And the constant what I have felt for a long time is a little bit I don’t know, it’s like a car engine, like my system is constantly flooded is how I have felt right. Like, to the max every day, you know, whether it’s work, whether it’s kids, whether it’s the balancing act of the two, you know, no breaks, no childcare, no time with my hubby, you know, to mean, his schedule is he goes in at six every morning and gets home at noon, or one. And then I start my workday, and I work through the evening, often late. So it’s, you know, our life has totally reorganized because of the absence of supports that we typically had. And yeah, and it’s resulted in this feeling of like, zero breaks since March 1, you know, and so I didn’t know what to do, right routine kind of this, I told people, like, I just hit a wall, except to start saying, No, everything like I don’t really have the clarity to decipher between like, should I say no to that? Or should I say no to that I was like, you know, what my rule is, if it’s not mandatory, if it doesn’t involve like making pancakes for my children to keep them alive, I’m saying no to it, you know, or like, the most essential pieces of my work.
Andrea Carter 31:17
And this is, this is the exact reason that we’re seeing this mass exodus of women within the workplace, because women have reached a place where they are saying, No, I cannot tell you how many high level women, like yourself, are saying no, and are exiting the workplace, therefore not thanks. But no thanks. And I’m going to take care of my kids. And the reason that this is so important, is that there are ways for us to shift the dynamic, without having to say no to everything. Look for things that you as I talked about, remember, when I had mentioned, there are people that you, you know, have an interaction with, and they lift you up, and they make you, you know, feel like, wow, I’m so energized. And I feel so good. Now, what you need to look for is you need to look for the work patterns, the things that still fill you up. Because those pieces have to be a priority as well. And if we’re going to balance work and life, because there is no balance right now, you need to be able to bring in the elements that still highlight your ambition. Take ambition out of the equation, especially for women. That is a pre determining factor for depression tendencies. So not only are we dealing with mass exodus, women from the workplace, we’re also dealing with a lot of depression, mental health, addiction, if we’re not starting to balance that. So it’s not about cutting, you know, one thing out or adding another it’s, it’s really about looking at how we can prioritize, yes, our children. Yes, what feels good, and how we prioritize ourself, not peace, you know, believing in yourself, believing in yourself that you’re stronger than we give ourselves credit for. We’re more capable than we give ourselves credit for. And some of these shifts of just how we’re thinking will help you get to where you want to go. And still allow you to feel like you are supermom, everyone wants to be like supermom, but balances that out of your ambition, and even where you are in your career.
Heather Pearce Campbell 33:54
No, I love that. Do you have any practical tips for moms who have been doing it all? And let’s be clear, there’s lots of dads in the same boat. But you know, for those who are doing it all and that have not been able to find the time or a way to prioritize themselves? Where do they start?
Andrea Carter 34:15
So what I’m going to say is I just finished putting together this downloadable, I’m kind of calling it a blueprint, it’s called the undoing effect. And essentially what that is, is essentially the the psychology and the science behind how we need to undo the compounding pressure effects. And we already know I mean, there’s a ton of dangerous effects that pressure bring in. So how do we reclaim the happiness, the confidence and the energy and so I put together it’s really it’s a three page download.
Heather Pearce Campbell 34:48
I do have an option that you want to share in the private chat and I’ll share it right here on the tab.
Andrea Carter 34:57
Go to wealthy woman warrior calm time. forward slash undue dash pressure. Okay. Okay, oh two. And I’ll just put that in the chat right now as well. It’ll take you to that handout. And I have that listed on, I just did back in July panel presentation for the Empire club of Canada, which is a really big deal here in Canada. But thank you, yeah. But we put that up as a resource. And it was downloaded over 2000 times at this. So I highly doubt it, it’s been really, really beneficial for the audience that we’ve been in front of. And I think you know, what’s great about it is that it gives you my acronym of like digging yourself out of pressure and how to do that. And it’s in the way more simple than most people think. So, you know, from the practical perspective, give yourself a pause. But I think it really is about acknowledging where you’re at, and what your capacity is. And, you know, going back to the peleton, you know, I’ve been noticing for myself that I used to be at a certain output, and my output over the summer was amazing. And I was really, you know, I was in there and I was beating it, and I was winning. And then September hit, the kids went back to school, and I’m probably only at three fourths of what my output was in the summer. And at first, I was very disappointed, I was very discouraged, like, how dare you, Andrea, like back off of your progress and not be moving forward. And it’s very easy, and I am giving you, you know, a little easy way of thinking about this from an exercise perspective. But this is how we measure ourselves in life, right? We measure ourselves, month after month, year after year, we look at our income, we look at our housing, we look at our children, we compare ourselves to our peers. And in doing so what we’re actually doing is igniting the negative compounding pressure on a daily basis. So sorry, go ahead.
Heather Pearce Campbell 37:17
I was gonna say, Isn’t that the truth? I know that it’s, you know, of course, I love to hear when people are doing so well. But it has been really interesting to observe in this current time, like, in particularly people without kids, right? Who are like, Oh, I’m more productive than ever, like, you know, and I know, like, I put in my newsletter yesterday, like living my best life over here during, you know, and there are people who are literally drowning in pressure and weight and like not getting to all the things right. And the stark contrast between the two is really interesting to see.
Andrea Carter 37:56
Well, you know, the first thing that we need to do is recognize as well that those people that maybe don’t have children, it doesn’t mean that they don’t have count compound and pepper, no write it, but what it does mean is that their their perception of what’s going on in their own lives like we can’t. The problem is, is that there’s no way to measure compounding pressure and the perception and what’s happening within the brain from one person to the next person. Right? Why when we look at like, Oh, just bounce back and be resilient. That’s so ridiculous. Because you might look at your neighbor and think, Oh, well, they’re bouncing back. Why can’t I do that? And then it’s the spiral of there must be something wrong with me. Yeah, there’s nothing wrong with you. It is everyone gets to a point where when they have too many things that just pile on top, at some point, we have to stop and take a breather, and give ourselves permission to reset. And if we can’t do that, then that’s where there are dangerous. Yeah, repercussions that help being able to do that.
Heather Pearce Campbell 39:09
We need to reach out. Yes. And I think, I think right now, you know, it’s, it’s hard for people who are normally not struggling, reach out for help and say, Hey, like, this is really hard. Right? And I think that’s a barrier for a lot of people. And I think partly it’s it’s interesting, because I’ve been pretty open about it this last week with people in my network, like when they reach out and they’re like how you do and like I tell them how I’m doing. You know, and part of it is I want it to be okay for other people to acknowledge like this is really hard and because I do that, plenty of the beating myself up over like oh, not just bouncing back or seeing a really clear way through or whatever else and it was refreshing today to a woman who you know, I perceive as really like a very buoyant person, you know, and generally doing very well like acknowledging, you know, on Facebook, like, my soul is tired, my mind is tired, my body is tired. So I woke up today and cleared the decks. And I think that’s really hard to do is to clear the decks and like, actually just give ourselves room to not perform and not do all the things and just, you know, take care of things immediately.
Andrea Carter 40:26
Yeah, and I mean, even little things like the other day, it was funny, because I’m also in the, in the process of doing my Master’s in industrial and organizational psychology. It, you know, it’s super fascinating. I’m specializing in social justice and in data so that I can pull all these elements of diversity, equity inclusion, into, you know, more of a business case, to be able to help organizations really restructure how they’re operating. And it’s very fascinating, but I have to read a paper a week, wait, you know, there’s two assignments. And it’s probably 10, you know, papers that we’re reading per week. And the other day, I had a cancellation. And it was an hour, and I took a nap, I would normally push through. Like, that’s my tendency. And that was true. And I think that the more that we can be aware of where we’re at, the more we can recognize, okay, so if we were to remove COVID times, and we were just talking regular times, it could still be that I needed that nap. Yeah. Because we’re also in that are unprecedented. The, these are the times that if you can take your pause, pick your pauses, schedule posits from that experience of taking a nap the rest of the week, I made sure I had a 30 minute window, where I wasn’t exercising, I wasn’t forcing myself to go meditate or go do something. You know, I literally sat on our front porch, and I had a cup of tea and I put my feet up. And I watch the world. And I think we need to start scheduling these things. I think we need to start making me time. So that we can really come back to feeling okay. And understanding where we can take our winds and forward.
Heather Pearce Campbell 42:37
No, I love that. Well, and there’s so much more you’ve been so generous with your time. I know there’s so much more we could tackle this is a big conversation. Cuz I know you’ve got you’ve got I’m sure some additional resources. And I think you’ve got a course and like other things that could help people through a variety of their pressures. For folks that want to get in touch with you. What’s the best way? Should they go to your website? Where do you like to connect with people?
Andrea Carter 43:02
The best place to go is going to be to go to andreacarterconsulting.com. Okay, we’ll be able to see both the wealthy woman warrior and building better.
Heather Pearce Campbell 43:15
Andrea Carter 43:16
Yeah, so it’s kind of like the umbrella if you got your andreacartersulting.com. What you’ll then be able to see is there’s there is more access to some of the speaking events, the panels. And of course, the downloads, the and the courses that I have developed in and putting out to support people right now.
Heather Pearce Campbell 43:38
No, I love that. I love that. Well. And I know we did this in a Facebook Live, I totally want to have you on my podcast. So maybe I figure out a way to turn this into a podcast episode or I just have you back. No, Andrea, you’re amazing. I feel like this is just such an important topic right now. I mean, I look around at folks in my circles and there are so many that are reaching that, you know, breaking point, whatever you want to call it of asking themselves that question, you know, how do I keep going and I think this is a really important reframe, about how you address that how you think about it, how you you know, pattern interrupt and scheduled pauses it’s and also I think the idea that like a little thing, you know, the small things and the small ways that we can address this go a long way to.
Andrea Carter 44:29
Dolly Parton man.
Heather Pearce Campbell 44:31
Who doesn’t love Dolly? So funny. Great to see you, Andrea, I always love connecting. Thank you so much for sharing this really important conversation with us today. Yeah. All right. See you soon.
Andrea Carter 44:49
Bye for now.
GGGB Outro 44:52
Thank you for joining us today on the Guts Grit and Great Business podcast. We hope that we’ve added a little fuel to your tank, some coffee to your cup and pep in your step to keep you moving forward in your own great adventures. For key takeaways links to any resources mentioned in today’s show and more see the show notes which can be found at www.legalwebsitewarrior.com/podcast. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast and if you enjoyed today’s conversation, please give us some stars and a review on Apple podcast, Spotify or wherever you get your podcast so others will find us, to0. Keep up the great work you are doing in the world and we’ll see you next week.