December 20th, 2022
With Hilary DeCesare, an award-winning business expert, a sought-after speaker, founder of The Relaunch Co., host of The reLAUNCH Podcast and Radio America’s The reLAUNCH LIVE, esteemed author, and the creator of The Fired-Up Entrepreneur signature course. Hilary is one of the first women to raise almost 1 billion in sales for the tech giant, Oracle. For decades, she has coached thousands of women in her Silicon Valley success methods bringing a fresh energy to industry leaders, CEOs, and solopreneurs.
Hilary is widely recognized for her work in neuropsychology as it relates to business and life and holds several certifications from top practitioners in the field. Through her expertise, she has raised millions of dollars in venture capital for many successful startups. She has been selected as AlwaysOn’s “Top 25 Women in Tech to Watch“ in 2010, 2011, 2012, was honored with the prestigious 2010 DEMOgod Award, and won the 2012 Golden Bridge Women Founder of the Year Award. The culmination of her work has brought her to innovate the 3HQ Methodology, where she empowers mid-life women to experience joy and reimagine what’s possible in their careers.
Join us for this interesting conversation as Hilary talks about relaunching and retraining your brain. She shares some amazing tips on how you can shorten the path towards relaunch, and tackles some ways on how you can have your transitions turn into transformations in a positive way. You will also hear her talk about the three HQ methods and why is it critical for business success, and our limiting beliefs and how it affects our future.
Biggest takeaways (or quotes) you don’t want to miss:
- “We all have limiting beliefs.”
- Some ways to turn transitions into transformations that are positive.
- Where is the breakdown within yourself?
- “A lot of times, (we) have that thought but (we) don’t know what to do with it.”
- “We are the only ones who really have the ability to change our thoughts and do a relaunch flip.”
” There has to be a point where we say, okay, the past is absolutely not going to get you ahead into the future. It’s what you do with all of the things that you have learned and how you set yourself up.”-Hilary DeCesare
Check out these highlights:
- 07:32 What does 3HQ stand for and what can it do for people?
- 16:46 Some tips to help people make processes go smoother, better and faster.
- 25:50 Hilary talks about belief blasters.
- 30:35 The power of reframing your thoughts to become more positive.
- 32:44 What’s your favorite neural language?
- 38:47 What rich people who are nice and rich people who are mean have in common.
How to get in touch with Hilary:
On social media:
Learn more about Hilary, by visiting her website at https://therelaunchco.com/
Special gift for the listeners: You can join the FREE workshop: ReLaunch to Revenue 5-Day Business Challenge here.
Imperfect Show Notes
We are happy to offer these imperfect show notes to make this podcast more accessible to those who are hearing impaired or those who prefer reading over listening. While we would love to offer more polished show notes, we are currently offering an automated transcription (which likely includes errors, but hopefully will still deliver great value), below.
GGGB Intro 00:00
Here’s what to expect today…
Hilary DeCesare 00:02
When you start to be aware of when things aren’t going for you the way you thought they would, there is this fear. The fear is something in the future that hasn’t happened. Fear is in the future that hasn’t happened. But the fear is tied to your limiting belief. And so imagine if we can get to your bug, and we can believe blast it so blast the bug in the brain at this neuro level. And it’s you know, synaptic pruning, where we actually take that limiting belief and we can see it under a microscope where it actually breaks apart, and a new empowering belief is put in place. How does that change your life? How does that allow you to start to expand in your professional life, your personal life, not just with loved ones, but the personal life within yourself?
GGGB Intro 01:03
The adventure of entrepreneurship and building a life and business you love, preferably at the same time is not for the faint of heart. That’s why Heather Pearce Campbell is bringing you a dose of guts, grit and great business stories that will inspire and motivate you to create what you want in your business and life. Welcome to the Guts, Grit and Great Business® podcast where endurance is required. Now, here’s your host, The Legal Website Warrior®, Heather Pearce Campbell.
Heather Pearce Campbell 01:36
Alrighty, welcome. I am Heather Pearce Campbell, The Legal Website Warrior®. Welcome to another episode of Guts, Grit and Great Business®. I’m super excited to welcome you to what is going to be a fabulous episode. We have Hilary DeCesare with us today. Welcome Hilary.
Hilary DeCesare 01:57
Hey, Heather, good to be here.
Heather Pearce Campbell 01:59
So good to see you. We’ve been joking that it’s taken us a little while to get this scheduled. And then of course, soon as we try to hit record, we’re having technical difficulties. So you know, all that…
Hilary DeCesare 02:11
Fingers crossed, fingers crossed, it’s gonna work out and we’re gonna be able to deliver a good show your audience.
Heather Pearce Campbell 02:16
That’s right. I think we will. For those of you that don’t know Hilary, Hilary DeCesare is an award-winning business expert, esteemed author, host of “The reLAUNCH Podcast” and Radio America’s “The reLAUNCH LIVE” As a sought-after speaker, founder of The Relaunch Co., and creator of The Fired-Up Entrepreneur signature course, Hilary brings fresh energy to industry leaders, CEOs, and solopreneurs. The culmination of her work has brought her to innovate the three HQ framework, where she empowers midlife women to experience joy and reimagine what’s possible. Welcome, Hilary. I love your bio.
Hilary DeCesare 03:00
Well, you know what’s interesting is that whole you know, there’s a lot of relaunches in what you just read right? Relaunch, but about three years ago, before the pandemic, I would talk about relaunches, and people would say, okay, so help me understand what you do. And then everything happened and it became instead of a new normal, a new different and people decided, hey, I need to relaunch I need to do something different in my professional and my personal life. And that’s where we step back.
Heather Pearce Campbell 03:35
Oh, it’s so timely. I think so many people. I mean, I even think of my circle like the close people that I know, how many people have had what is essentially a relaunch, you know, in especially this timeframe of COVID coming out of COVID. It’s my philosophy is like covered or not. It’s so important, I think, for us to reinvent ourselves and to have a fresh start and to create something new in our lives. And I want to mention just because between the time you and I first connected, you’ve published a book, right? Speaking of relaunches.
Hilary DeCesare 04:15
Speaking of relaunches, yes. And that actually came out of something that happened right before COVID hit my mom had a terrible bout of cancer moved in with us and in basically a year had passed away. And I come from a family where the women live into their hundreds. I mean, crazy crazy. So for us, our identity is very much attached to we’re going to live to 105, 106 because that’s just what we do. And all of a sudden my mom is gone at age seventy eight and it was just like what, and so I didn’t have the luxury of going out and have a trip around the world and Eat Pray Love trip or a wild adventure and start to you know, hike around the world. I had to do a lot of internal soul searching. And part of that was around writing this book around relaunches. I’ve been coaching for over 20 years. So, I have so many stories about significant relaunches in people’s lives and my own that I thought, You know what? All right, I have quite a bit that people could really take us and have, you know, amazing results, because I had seen it happen over and over. And I thought this is the time I’m doing it. So yes, since we have talked at that point, it took me almost a year, because there was a lot of stories that had to come to the surface, there were a lot of an interesting, I remember, when I first started the journey of writing the book, I had almost 200 post, it’s all over. And I just remember the stories, I’m like, Oh my God, and that would be a great one. And people would love to, you know, hear the story about you know, when I was in New York, and I met this guy at this Manhattan hotel, and he was drinking a martini at 11 o’clock, and I got that intuitive hit that said, run like crazy as fast as you can out of there. And I tried to never work with him again. But circumstances led us down this path that brought us together clear that there was a lesson there. But in the book, I actually take you through this story and the fact that he ended up in federal prison for three years, just so everyone knows. So my intuition was on fire. I just wasn’t fully listening to it. So I get, you know, into this path of how do you build up your intuition. And you mentioned three HQ, there is an awesome way that you can incorporate this next generation of IQ where that was in the 60s 70s 80s. How intelligent are you, you know, that makes for a good leader to EQ of the 90s where it was an emotional quotient how you know, emotionally connected. And then now, in today’s new different, it’s about three HQ and what three HQ really is and what it can do for people and your audiences. Three HQ stands for head, heart, higher self. And when you can get out of your head, you can actually get out of your head by a lot of neuroscience behind all of this, I’m geek out on that. But if you can get out of your own way, and you can lean into that heart center, and you all of a sudden have these working in alignment and you know, synchronicity, all or synchrony times, then all of a sudden, you’ve got this ability to tap into your higher self. And these days, when we’re given a lot more time to be present with ourselves, good, the bad and the ugly. It really helps you understand that the higher self is just the best version of you. And so this is where it all comes to that point where, where is the breakdown within yourself?
Heather Pearce Campbell 08:29
Yeah, so first of all, I’m really sorry for your experience in the loss of your mom. Right? That’s a hard way to experience any kind of, you know, transition or relaunch or anything else. But yeah, those those losses are especially, you know, our parents, super, super meaningful and transitional and challenging to work through. Thank you. How many relaunches the way that you view that? How many would you say you’ve been through in your life, whether business personal, right? I want to hear kind of the, the some of the juicy background around this concept of relaunch.
Hilary DeCesare 09:12
So it’s funny you should ask because I really had never counted until about three months ago when somebody asked me because they thought, you know, well, this is such an unusual, and I looked up pivots, I looked at transitions, I looked at setbacks. And I wanted to know how many do most people have and I even put this in the book that you know, they say on average, people have three to four major relaunches major setbacks, and I started to count mine. And I got to 28 and I started to think, Okay, I need to stop because there’s just so many I was starting to feel like I’m like the queen of relaunch. From you go back back. And the way I have people do it is that I have them start with the decade they’re in. And you put down the impactful situations that have happened, you know, and there’s divorces and there’s loss and families. There’s job changes. There’s, you know, personal as you said, right now, there are three very different types of relaunches that are happening in the world. There’s the global relaunch pandemic, there’s the financial crisis, there’s wars, then you’ve got business relaunches, which is you know, you’ve got the hybrid you’ve got trying to figure out like, Hey, am I really fulfilling my purpose? Do I really like what I’m doing? Am I really happy with what you know what I’m doing, you know, for X amount of hours? Is there really any difference between you know, a home office, like, what is that like all these different things in the work world, and then there’s the personal relaunches, and those are the relationships those are, you know, the relationship you have with yourself with others, your family and all that. But when you start to look at that, you can really put down on a timeline, this relaunch time frame where you go through each and every one of your decades. And I look at it like a nesting doll, where, you know, you kind of take off that first level of that outer shell. And you know how it makes that sometimes that really obnoxious sound that, like you’re trying to turn it in, it’s like, yikes. And it’s because it’s hard to get that first one off, it is. And so I always start with what’s, you know, for me to say, okay, Heather, I need you to go back to when you were, you know, zero to 10. And you’d be like, Why I can’t even remember, but if you take it from where you are, and kind of taking it backwards. And then I always like to say, put a plus sign or an A minus sign or color code. And then you really get a sense of where have you been in your life that’s been that relaunch roller coaster. And what’s really been the most impactful what have been like looking at this, what’s really been something that has shaped you and and you mentioned that I’ve had, you know, I have the podcasts and I have a radio show. And I to have probably interviewed now about 175 people on their relaunches on how to successfully get through I mean, you talk about the toolbox I have now I got it, that’s you know, hence the fact that I had to write the book. But one of the things that either I asked during the show or after is, if you could go back to that significant relaunch and be able to change it, would you and do you want to hear not one, we’re talking, we’re talking terrible, like, you know, abusive situations, deaths. We’ve had, you know, loss of limbs, you know, just massive sadness and situations, and relaunches and not one has ever said, You know what Hilary, I’d go back and change it. Because where you come out transition to transformation is what we take, it’s how we grow. It’s what’s next for us, I call it the G Zone. And for a lot of people it is your genius down, but it’s more importantly, your growth zone. It’s your gratitude zone. It’s your greatness zone. And some of us have such like a, there’s no fire in the belly anymore. We’re just like, we’re numb. We have this numb sense of just like we’re going through life. We’re not living life. We’re just like, you know, we’re writing.
Heather Pearce Campbell 11:20
We’re writing that versus thrive.
Hilary DeCesare 13:46
Yeah, yeah. 100%. And so when I look at my own experiences, and I say, Hey, I’ve gotten through, you know, now I probably could add a couple more with my dad’s passing that just happened six weeks ago. And another one, I probably met 30 Plus, okay. But without three HQ, without me having some type of method that I keep relying on, I probably there’s a couch behind me, I probably be flat out on that couch. You’d be interviewing me from there, because I wouldn’t be able to even get my head off the pillow. So the good news is that there is something that even through the toughest of times, there are ways to have the transitions turn into transformations that are positive. And this is the misnomer, transformation sometimes people are like well, aren’t they always positive and you know, you transform, heck no. I mean as a coach as a, you know, who’s coached probably over 1000 people, I got to tell you know, there are a lot of transformations that you don’t take it through the right process and it keeps Bringing you back right? Until you learn something until you you know, it’s like you can’t just hear it, you have to also listen to what it’s telling you. And that’s the key until you do that. Life will repeat. And that’s a really scary thing to say. But, you know, it goes back to even you know, the thoughts that you have, when you have them on autopilot when you have them and you don’t break away from being in your head, and you allow them to take over, then how can you expect any different results?
Heather Pearce Campbell 15:34
So powerful, you know, in discussing relaunches, and I think you provided a great list of examples and all the ways that relaunch can happen in our lives, right business, I mean, on a global scale, personally, etc. I’m sure you’ve learned because, you know, ultimately, to the extent that we’re still alive, right, we make it through those processes. We make it through that, and often, I think, really painful processes, right? Because we’re designed to grow through those experiences we’re designed to, if we pay attention, and we we approach it the right way, learn some things. Are there some tips that you can share with people that will help those processes go smoother, better, faster, to the extent that they can, right? Because I know the feeling and I know so many have felt like, right? I’ve been in the trenches, doing the work like I really am ready to be on the other side of this. Right?
Hilary DeCesare 16:39
What are your tip? That, yeah, that is probably the number one question I get. When I start to talk to someone who feels like they haven’t gotten to where they thought they’d be right, I thought I would be further along in my career, I thought I would have made more money by now I thought I would be married right now to this person or in a happier relationship. I never dreamed I’d be living here. All of those things. And there has to be a point where we say, okay, the past is absolutely not going to get you ahead into the future. It’s not the past isn’t. It’s what you do with all of the things that you have learned and how you set yourself up. You made a comment about you know, rediscovering and reimagining and, and really taking a hard look at it. I deal a lot with people in there. I call it the mid zone midlife, right? And these days, midlife is anywhere from 35 to 60. Crazy, crazy crazy. But that’s where it’s being defined. And this truly is such a critical time where we, you know, we might be in that sandwich generation where we’ve got kids, we’ve got parents, we’re trying to figure out who we are. We’re trying to understand, like what is next, and we fall into complacency, we fall into that period of being stuck of feeling like all right, I’m kind of just at the point where it is what it is. So one thing that my mom always said when I was growing up, she didn’t say it is what it is. She always says it tears what to tears, Hilary. So now what? And that one line allows you to not be stuck anymore, because so now what means you have to be thinking about that next step. So we do have a process, a very simple process that I like to do when it has to do with just trying to get out of your head, we have something called every single one of us has limiting beliefs. And in my, in my exhaustive experience, I’ve only met one person who said I don’t have any limiting beliefs. And I said, Well, God love you, girl. That is incredible. And she you know, is a top level C suite fortune, probably 50 company. And she said no, I don’t have that. And I said, Okay, let’s take a step back. I want to go there. Well, okay, you don’t have them. But every single person that you come in contact us. We all have limiting beliefs. We all have stories that are on, you know, the repeat, repeat and release, boom, let’s do it again. Let’s do it again. And until we get to those, you can’t get ahead of where your limiting beliefs will keep you your identity is mapped to your belief system. So wherever that is, so I call them bugs, your beliefs underground, surfacing your bugs. Again, we all have bugs. And yes, the three cornerstones of the three biggest bugs that everything always tell goes back to our I’m not good enough. Now now, I’m too old. I’m too this, I’m not that, I haven’t been able to do that, I’m not loved, I can’t be loved. I’m not lovable. And I’m not safe. And right now, in today’s world, you look at it and for a lot of people, the uncertainty falls in safe so I’m uncertain about my health, I’m uncertain about my family, I’m uncertain about the economy and uncertain about, you know, if I’m gonna get sick, all these different things. And then you’ve got this, am I good enough, which falls into the relaunches, they’re happening on a personal level and professional. And next thing, you know, that’s kind of like, oh, geez, we might be all screwed, right? We might be all doomed by this one. But here’s the thing, when you can start to realize and through the day, it comes in this awareness, when you start to be aware of when things aren’t going for you the way you thought they would, there is this fear, the fear is something in the future that hasn’t happened. Fear is in the future, that hasn’t happened. But the fear is tied to your limiting belief. And so imagine if we can get to your bug, and we can believe blast it, so blast the bug in the brain at this neuro level. And it’s you know, synaptic pruning, where we actually take that limiting belief, and we can see it under a microscope where it actually breaks apart, and a new empowering belief is put in place. How does that change your life? How does that allow you to start to expand in your professional life, your personal life, not just with loved ones, but the personal life within yourself? And so I really think it’s important to think about the belief blasters, and if I could just very quickly go through the five steps because then people listening can be like, Oh, hey, I can do that. And by the way, this is all in the book, it’s detailed out because my attitude is, you don’t need to come to me, I can give you the steps. When it’s great to have you come to me is when you want to take it even further.
Heather Pearce Campbell 22:23
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Heather Pearce Campbell 25:01
I love that you give people the signposts though to pay attention to their worries and their fears, right? And look backwards because they’re attached to some limiting because I think a lot of people think, or or they’re just they might be aware that they have some limiting beliefs, but they can’t get to the specifics of what they are. Right? It really does remain underground. And so, you know, I’d also…
Hilary DeCesare 25:29
It comes up at the most inopportune time, right? You’re like, everything’s great at work. I’ve had this awesome quarter, and then it falls to pieces. why? It’s because one of those gosh, darn bugs is coming up. It’s surfacing. And it will always continue to surface.
Heather Pearce Campbell 25:46
Love that can’t put a pin in that and let’s go through the belief blasters.
Hilary DeCesare 25:50
Okay, so the first thing they have to do, as you just said, is a lot of times it’s tough to put a finger on it. Which one? And my attitude is this when you realize something isn’t where you want it to be, notice what’s coming up for you for a day for a week, what is starting to trigger for you like, are you feeling like every time that person comes in the room? You’re like, I don’t want to say anything. That’s the idea. I’m not good enough. Do you feel like time is slipping by so fast? So you’re running out of time? I’m like, Oh, my God, I’m not good enough. Because right? It’s not going to happen. Do you feel like, Oh, they’re not going to like me, or I’m not going to be like the imposter syndrome. That whole I’m not, you know, I’m not in a position to be loved and liked. And oh, my gosh, you know, this is amazing. And then you’ve got the safe, which is, am I gonna be able to pay my bills? Am I going to be able to provide for my family, and one of the biggest, biggest fears women have. And even if you can believe this, Oprah Winfrey has this sphere is becoming a bag lady, that all of a sudden we go from, okay, I’m making money now. But will I keep making money? Or I’m not making any money right now? How am I going to get to a place? Where am I ever going to be able to retire? Am I going to be able to be self-sufficient. So I want you to just be thinking when I when I mentioned those, which one really caused you to be like, oh, like, oh, my gosh, I’m too old. This is like happening to me, or I’m too young, you know, I don’t have enough experience, what is it, and once you can, you don’t have to go all the way down to one of those root ones, you can just pick, pick a high level, high level bug that you’re thinking right now. And a lot of times when you just start taking that highest level one through, it will end up leading you to the bigger, the deeper. But sometimes we’re not ready to go there. Sometimes it’s just too much. It’s too much of when you start to look at the first one is releasing, and you are realizing excuse me, you start to realize that you have this bug. And then you start to realize, the second step is this awareness. All right, I’m aware, oh, my gosh, Hilary was right. Look at now that I am realizing I have it, how often it’s coming up for me, oh my gosh, or when things aren’t working right. There it is again. And then as you go through. So the first one is, you know, realizing, then you’ve got the awareness, then you go ahead, and we put you through a releasing process. At some point, we have to start realizing that if you continue to believe and live by and have that story running, that you won’t ever get ahead, I mentioned that you can’t get ahead of your belief system. So we got to break the belief system. So once you’re able to do that, and we go through a releasing process with release letters with a bunch of you know, neuroscience also, I’m again, I just I think that there’s so much data that’s come out of the last 10 years, and I’ve been studying it for about 10 years, and psychology degree and all this I’ve loved it forever. But then I do something in step four, which is called the relaunch flip. And this is something that I can share very quickly. You have a thought, you have something that you just notice it just keeps coming up that negative thought a relaunch flip takes that negative thought and forces you to make it into a positive one forces you to relaunch flip it or relaunch flip it and that is something that it’s like a muscle, you have to be building it. And a lot of times people say change your thoughts change your world, right. But here’s the thing. A lot of times we have that thought, and we don’t know what to do with it. All right, it’s there. It’s there. Oh my gosh, I don’t want to think about that. I’m not going to think about that and you keep thinking about it. Instead, I like to say all right, you got the thought you got the thought but what would be the opposite, so I’m not good enough. Like I can’t do that. I can’t Go for that promotion, I can’t go for that job, I don’t have the experience. And instead, what you would say is, you know what, I have all of the experience through all of the different jobs inside. And I know, I can do this. And then another one would be, I am capable of learning anything I set my mind at, I can learn what I don’t know. Right. So all of a sudden, you’re doing a relaunch flip. And the last part of the belief blaster is retrain your brain. And we’ve all heard of affirmations, we, we get them. But there’s something very powerful. When you think about something like a program running, okay, you’ve got this program running behind, instead of looking at it, like, I got this thing. Instead, it’s like, can we look at it, like, I’ve got a project that I’m working on, and the project is project me. And whether it is the last half of the year, whether it’s 2023, or like, I’m putting a stand out there, and this is the year of me, we at some point have to take back ourselves, we have to take back ownership. Too many people are on the pedestal right now. You know, and the top gurus are saying you know love yourself, love your life. Love your business, love, love, love. And when I when I was really trying to get to the love, I thought I was gonna throw up in my mouth when I heard this because I’m like, I don’t even like myself right now. How am I gonna go from this, like, you know, self sabotage to loving myself. It’s like crossing the chasm. It’s like jumping over, you know, the Grand Canyon, you can’t do it. So I always just say, you know, give grace to yourself. And you talk about grit, which is one of my favorite words of all time. And let’s just start with going from self sabotage, or I really hate myself, I really don’t like myself, too. I like myself. I like myself. And that’s it. That’s all we need to do right now. And once you start down that path, the affirmation of you know, I just, I like myself, and pick that one thing like, okay, you know, it might be that you, you have a nice smile, or a you might be like, Okay, I like my eyes, or you know what I like my nails, whatever it is, I’ve had someone say, I can’t think of any and I’m like, Alright, you got great nails, she’s like, I really do I got good. So start somewhere. And then once you do that, it’s like you’re building up that muscle to go to like to go to love. And that’s all part of that retraining your brain.
Heather Pearce Campbell 32:45
That what this brings to mind for me, because I relate so strongly to you were hinting at the piece where we all know, we have this machinery running. Right. And oftentimes, because we are, you know, a mammal with an amygdala, right, it does not always serve us. And there’s a lot of thoughts that are on repeat that sometimes we’re aware of, sometimes if we start to pay attention and do some of the work that you reference, we can fix but I love the reframe around, because I heard somebody say it in this way, like you have a supercomputer in your body that will help you create whatever you want. Like think of it as a supercomputer that just needs some reprogramming. Right? And it sounds like, yeah, your work and your method helps with that reprogramming.
Hilary DeCesare 33:42
Absolutely. And again, it starts with your favorite neural language is your own voice. And whatever you think or speak, it’s one in the same to your subconscious, that really doesn’t matter. So when you start to think about, you know, well, I got this problem. Well, is problem a negative or a positive? It’s a negative, and we’re trying to change everything about what we are putting out there into the future. So I often say, Can we change that word problem? Because if we already are starting with something like, you know, I got this problem, I got this thing I should have done, I could have done all of that in the past. This is part of the release that I do talk about. If we can change the way we look at that instead, it’s on a problem like I got this thing at work and I’m trying to deal with and is this real problem? Is it a problem? Or is there a goal around it that you’re trying to get to? Is it a project that you’re trying to complete? Is there an outcome? Is there a different way to do a relaunch flip on that?
Heather Pearce Campbell 34:59
It’s huge. Those all those small thoughts that we have because we have the supercomputer, right, those small thoughts, but I heard somebody else say it this way, when you have a thought that makes you feel bad, right? Just like the simple labeled good or bad, like, you know, when something makes you feel positive or hopeful. And you know, when something makes you feel like oof, just notice those right? Notice those and do this work around those can be totally simple thoughts like that changing one word problem to a project. I love it. Because people want to know where to start. I think people really want to be able to do this work the right way. And it feels a little daunting, sometimes working with these supercomputers.
Hilary DeCesare 35:49
We all talk about like, you know, okay, well, a super computer, you can just hit the, you know, off button and, you know, turn it on again, and it’ll be rebooted and you’re like, crap, I just rebooted this thing. And I still feel like, I’m stuck. I still feel like I’m, you know, numb, I still feel like, I don’t have fire in my belly. And then that’s when they’re like, Okay, what can I do? And again, like you just said, it’s, it really is incredible what a few minor tweaks can actually do. And then when you do that, and you start down the path, and it starts with you, you know, literally saying, I am not willing to accept, I’m not willing to accept this. And what if my net my second half of life, my next chapter, the next, you know, the next part of this story that’s being written is actually really incredible. I mean, imagine that, that’s where we have to go, that’s where we have to. And the greatest part is, the universe is not going to sit there and say, All right, Heather, you are going to be a multimillionaire, you’re gonna have the greatest kids, they’re never going to cause you any problems, and you’re gonna have this amazing husband, but Hilary is not, you know, it’s all based around, you know, I often am asked, like, this whole Money Story, and, you know, why are, you know, how do people get to be really wealthy? And, you know, I know a lot of times I talk about my own, you know, my own experience of going from college where I had not even you know, I had no money, graduating from college, my parents were awesome until I graduate, and they’re like, Okay, bye, bye, you’re good. And I hope those rings are strong enough. And I had to really create that and I had to look at and I think that this is what fascinated me with being in the corporate world for 10 years, and then being in my own companies and launching them and doing what I’ve been doing that I had an opportunity to really understand that. I looked at it like, Okay, what, what am I confused about here? And I was confused how some people who had a great deal of money were really nice, really wonderful people very philanthropic. And then there were some that were just assets just like awful. They were mean, they were not like they didn’t think how could they have money? And they have?
Heather Pearce Campbell 38:25
How could the universe want to flow money over here through that, right?
Hilary DeCesare 38:30
Yes, I get it. And it all hit me after numerous you know, I mean, it just like, I guess, you know, it’s one of those I’ve maybe there’s a book or another book out there of, you know, all the things I’ve learned over time, right. And what I realized is that they’re the people who have money, who are nice, the people who have money, who are mean have something in common, and that in common part is that they have this thought that they’re going to be wealthy, they’re going to make things out of whatever. So I’m not saying you could be mean and go down that path. And you know, all I have to do is think about being in or having money, but there is something to be true about your way that you’re showing up. And if you’re constantly in that place of I’m stuck, it’s you know, blaming somebody else. I you know, I’m I’m embarrassed where I am right now, then that’s what you’re going to continue to get and when you can reframe and really look at that, that example about the money and you start to realize like you have that choice, and we are human beings. We are the only ones out there that really have the ability to change our thoughts do a relaunch flip, allow us to realize that, you know, we have sad days we have sad months. We have sad things that happen, but they don’t have to define our entire future. It can be at a time where I give myself time to journal and time to mourn in time to say, God. I’ve been through a lot, both parents in the last, you know, couple years, unexpectedly. And now I’m you know, I sold a house for 25 years that I built with my first husband. I sold it. I remarried nine years ago with this fabulous guy. He was nice during COVID and moved back into this house because we were living in a high rise, and we ended up selling that house and moving states moving to Colorado from California. There’s a lot of relaunches, and I give myself the chance to say, I’ve been through a lot. I’ve been through a lot, but I also realize that I have a lot to get into with my life. I have a lot to come. And so it’s not this defining of this is it. This is what’s happened. Oh my gosh, Whoa, it’s me. It’s all right. I’ve learned a boatload. Oh, my gosh, I couldn’t have written the book without all of these relationships. I couldn’t have you know, I didn’t have the people coming to me saying, I laugh these days. I’m like, I’m not throwing this out universe. I’m not putting it out there. But I really feel like I’ve tapped into a lot of relaunches that the majority of people come to me with like, even, you know, good grief, I’ve had melanoma, I mean, like, wow, goodness sakes, I’ve had a lot, but I still look at it like, but look at now how I can touch people, how can I help them how I can shorten the path to relaunch, you’ve mentioned that earlier the time like we don’t want Don’t make me struggle to get through, it helped me understand how this is part of my toolbox, and I can go through it easier and have that more powerful transformation.
Heather Pearce Campbell 41:54
I love your perspective that you know, you can experience some of this really hard stuff like you’ve gone through, even in your, you know, recent last few years. And how it’s not this either or, like life is all hard or it’s all rain, it’s all you know, it’s like life is very full, like I experienced this hard stuff and look over here, right, where I can still do amazing work, or I can still show up and serve people, whatever the reframe is, I think recognizing the fullness and keeping those hard things in perspective is really hard to do when you’re in them, and also really paramount to being able to like move on and move through them.
Hilary DeCesare 42:40
And that’s where the relaunch flip comes in handy. It does.
Heather Pearce Campbell 42:44
And folks, if you’re listening, I know I feel like we have around to have this discussion to be scheduled. The importance of this work, though it just cannot be overstated. Even through some recent experiences learning it really in a hands on way, the importance of rewiring these neural connections that are causing us some problems, right, even physical stuff. It’s profound when you create a shift or can see a change and have it manifest even in a physical weigh in your body and your health. So I can’t wait to pick up this book and read through it and learn about you know, your program and your steps. Hilary, it’s been a joy to connect with you and hear a little bit about your story. For folks listening, where do you like to connect online?
Hilary DeCesare 43:39
So I think first off, I’ve enjoyed listening to other podcasts that you’ve done. And I think that, you know, again, I said, you know, the grit and you just you put it out there. And I really enjoy how you serve your audience, because it’s really impressive. And so thank you again for having me on. And the way that people can connect with me is you can actually go to the relaunchco.com. And there is a section that will say book, that is a great way to start. I do a lot of free workshops that fall nicely in line with the book. And it works out really well so that you kind of read the book and then you can go into into the free workshop or whatever suits you but also you can check it out on Instagram, so you can go to @therelaunchco there.
Heather Pearce Campbell 44:33
Oh excellent. I love that. So for all of you that love pretty pictures, go over to Instagram. We’ll share your link to the relaunchcode.com. It sounds like you have some amazing resources. Folks, if you’re listening, you can find those and anything else Hilary that you’d like to share with us including for example, a link to your new book relaunch at the show notes page which can be found at legalwebsitewarrior.com/podcast. Hilary, so great to connect with you. I’m so happy that we get to help share your message with folks who need it because we all need this right? There’s nobody, I’m sorry, even the women you talked to that said I have no limiting beliefs. My belief is that we all need it.
Hilary DeCesare 45:24
Well, thank you and it has been so much fun being on your show, Heather, keep doing what you’re doing.
Heather Pearce Campbell 45:29
Excellent. Well, I look forward to being in touch, Hilary. Thank you.
GGGB Outro 45:35
Thank you for joining us today on the Guts, Grit and Great Business® podcast. We hope that we’ve added a little fuel to your tank, some coffee to your cup and pep in your step to keep you moving forward in your own great adventures. For key takeaways, links to any resources mentioned in today’s show and more, see the show notes which can be found at www.legalwebsitewarrior.com/podcast. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast and if you enjoyed today’s conversation, please give us some stars and a review on Apple podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcast so others will find us too. Keep up the great work you are doing in the world and we’ll see you next week.