November 30th, 2021
How to Thrive: The Power of Connecting
With Lou Diamond, the Master Connector and host of the Thrive Loud podcast. He has over a quarter century of experience in sales, relationship management, business development and leadership coaching. He is an international keynote speaker, consultant, leadership & performance mentor, best-selling author, podcast & TV host and CEO of Thrive, helping businesses, top performers and brands thrive through the power of connecting.
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Biggest takeaways (or quotes) you don’t want to miss:
- “Every single connection in your life begins with ONE thing – ONE conversation.”
- Lou believes there is power in every connection.
- “The more conversations you have, the more connections you’ll make”- this will lead you to the next step of growth for you.
Check out these highlights:
- 4:49 Lou’s passion behind connecting people.
- 13:56 Why Lou hates the word “networking”.
- 21:03 Why Lou says, “We really need to know ourselves and understand that we actually have a connecting core inside of us.”
- 22:39 Lou believes we need to “move through fear to courage” by understanding what makes us hesitate and hold back.
- 30:18 The “deathbed fears”.
- 43:00 Why you need to keep providing excellent customer service AND check in with your customers.
- 48:04 “Be brief, be bright, be gone” and what this means to Lou.
How to get in touch with Lou:
On social media:
Learn more about Lou here.
Imperfect Show Notes
We are happy to offer these imperfect show notes to make this podcast more accessible to those who are hearing impaired or those who prefer reading over listening. While we would love to offer more polished show notes, we are currently offering an automated transcription (which likely includes errors, but hopefully will still deliver great value), below.
GGGB Intro 0:00
Here’s what you get on today’s episode of Guts, Grit & Great Business™…
Lou Diamond 0:10
I think it’s really important that a lot of us try and do things that other people are doing and you feel like you’re failing or you feel like you’re not doing because someone else’s there but you have to figure out your own path and get your own line of focus.
GGGB Intro 0:21
The adventure of entrepreneurship and building a life and business you love, preferably at the same time is not for the faint of heart. That’s why Heather Pearce Campbell is bringing you a dose of guts, grit and great business stories that will inspire and motivate you to create what you want in your business and life. Welcome to the Guts, Grit & Great Business™ podcast where endurance is required. Now here’s your host, The Legal Website Warrior®, Heather Pearce Campbell.
Heather Pearce Campbell 0:54
Alrighty, welcome. I am Heather Pearce Campbell, The Legal Website Warrior®. I’m an attorney and legal coach based here in Seattle, Washington and serving entrepreneurs throughout the US and around the world. Welcome to another episode of Guts, Grit & Great Business™. Today, I am so excited. We’re long overdue for this one. I am so excited to welcome Lou Diamond to the show. Welcome, Lou.
Lou Diamond 1:23
Heather. Such an honor to be here on the other side of the microphone, this time to chat with you.
Heather Pearce Campbell 1:29
Right. Yeah. So the first time that Lou and I connected was in somebody else’s group. Actually, I think there was like a group meeting or something. And we got connected there. And then I was on Lou’s podcast, which you’ll hear about today. Lou has a fabulous podcast. He is one of my favorite hosts out there, the energy and the fun that you bring to your conversations, I think is pretty unmatched blue. So for those of you that don’t know, Lou, Lou is the master connector. He has over a quarter century of experience in sales, relationship management, business development and leadership coaching. He is an international keynote speaker, consultant leadership and performance mentor, Best Selling Author, podcast and TV host and CEO of Thrive, helping businesses, top performers and brands thrive through the power of connecting low I love your intro. It’s like fam, it’s short, and so to the point, but it packs a big punch.
Lou Diamond 2:30
We made it I think we recently made it shorter because I was putting something together. And I was as I was listening to it. I’m like, Yeah, I guess we didn’t make it a little shorter. But yes, we want we want to be brief, be bright, be gone. And that’s usually how I conclude each one of my episodes on my programs, but I figured a good way to start this one, right? It’s, I love it. All these things we do are, you know, the power of connecting Heather, you and I connected as we mentioned through through one meeting, and then it led to a conversation I even think one time I pointed someone in your direction because of the things that you do in your business are so so vital to somebody entrepreneurs, that it’s the spirit of entrepreneurship that is unmatched anywhere and and in the seats that we sit in. We are blessed to connect and have these conversations with these incredible individuals who who do unbelievable things, but also bring that unbelievable spirit that’s unmatched into every encounter that they deal with. So I that’s the the you know, sitting on the side of the microphone, as a guest is always fun and an honor because I get to do so much of it on the other side. And I love the ability to just absorb all that information and I know your listeners are too because that’s part of what makes your show enticing as well. So thank you for those kudos and thank you for the opening.
Heather Pearce Campbell 3:51
Yeah, absolutely. Well, it’s so fun to have you i i know i’ve experienced the way that you connect and so the title of Master connector is no surprise to me know that I’ve gotten to know you a little bit and I’ve listened to many episodes of your podcast and you do just have a very, very natural but bright and energetic way of connecting with people where did that start?
Lou Diamond 4:19
From way back I I’d say the womb but that’s probably not accurate. I think if you know someone made this comment to me the other day like “Have you always been this way” and I believe I’ve always enjoyed bringing people together. I was I’m I am a friendly individual. I am an extrovert. I like like to be on stage I like to be in front of people I like to take the lead and and to me. I don’t think I ever realized when you when you bring relationships or people together, like just connecting to individuals have always Seeing something more than just oh, these people are meeting and you know, I’m just introducing them no, I saw an energy. Truth be told the true energy that happens when those people match and, and meet. And a lot of times, because I have a very common name Heather, well not common name I name that is out of an actor’s and everyone always remembers my name, I wasn’t always so good at remembering other people’s names. And for me, I would visually see people in a unique way I would look at them and say, Oh, this is, you know, they’re from the Pacific Northwest, this is the college they went to this is the place they work at, this is the logo of the company they work with. And now throw in all the social media aspects of life, oh, this is their children, their kids, their friends, this is where we’re connected. I see all those things. And when I see somebody else, and I see their world, almost like in like an orb, I try to have those worlds come and meet together. And because I say oh, they’re going to be able to talk about that. And oh, they’re going to be able to connect on this. And oh, maybe there’s an opportunity for those two to actually maybe even do business together. There’s something about that, that might have started even like from when I would introduce friends of mine together when I was you know, going to summer camp or something like that. And I always get to know everybody. I just feel that. Throughout my life, there was a sense of this sounds really weird, but I think there was like, it was almost my purpose. As people together like I felt like if it if two people went into a room, and they did and I knew both of them. And I didn’t connect them. I feel like I failed in the meeting in taking away those opportunities to make connections. Because as we all know, certain things in life can come in front of us that can stop us from having those connections in person or connections virtually, or whatever they might be right, there’s so many things that can get in our way work, life pandemics, stuff that stuff that you just can’t ever predict. When you think about how busy all of our lives are on our schedules are to find moments when people can actually overlap and get together, it’s hard to do. Because there’s just not enough hours in the day. So when those moments do come, I feel like a sense of urgency to make that happen. And I think I’ve always had it. So going full circle and a long winded way of saying it, it’s always been something I’ve wanted to do. And something I still get excited about doing.
Heather Pearce Campbell 7:16
Mm hmm. I love that I love the way you describe it being almost like this internal drive, like this purpose that has to be fulfilled. You know, it’s funny, because I think generally, people have busy lives, like they can relate very much to what you described as far as it being really easy for things to get in the way of having time to really connect with somebody or create new meaningful connections. And you know, the gift if we can say that there’s a gift and the pandemic, I think is realizing once those things are so completely absent. Like I remember times during the pandemic, where we would just walk the neighborhood and we’d bump in we have a favorite neighbor down the down the road named Solomon and he’s probably in his 70s, like, super, super active works on cars, we see him and my son who just loves, you know, all kinds of cars is just drawn to him like a magnet, you pretty much can’t keep our son out of his garage, you know, if the doors open, and he’s out there, but those those times where we got to connect and like even just stand in the driveway with somebody and have a real conversation, like became such bright spots in our otherwise kind of boring days. You know, kids were home, they weren’t at school, we lost all of our supports, like so many others. And so I think you know, the power of connection is is really a real real thing. And I think we can feel the weight of it missing in our busy lives. And then you layer on a pandemic, and it’s really missing and you just you notice it so much when you have it,
Lou Diamond 9:01
I’d say and I guess where that matured into something professional, in the sense of what I do for a living. And you know, I was always in sales or consulting, which to me was connecting companies together. And the spirit of understanding that when you use the skills to connect in the place of business, the connections that you have, eventually drive revenue. They either bring in the right people, when you hire them for your organization who can bring in revenue or produce the things you’re looking to do. If you find the right connection with the right partner, they can take care of some aspect of your business that is an expense that gets stuff done more productively or efficiently like someone like yourself out there. And, and then there are those most notably, which is when you go to get clients the ability to connect with prospects, clients and targets that to grow the revenue and business. What I recognized is There were three aspects of business that I did throughout my career. As you said, quarter century, I said, probably 30 years, but
Heather Pearce Campbell 10:11
Right, I know you start putting timelines on it.
Lou Diamond 10:14
So when I look at it from from my purpose has always been, as I said, Put on this planet to work with those amazing businesses, leaders and brands and help them thrive through connecting, and the salespeople and helping to better connect to their targets, the marketers to better connect their message to their audience, and leaders to better connect to their people. Because the muscles and the skills of what you need to do to connect are all the same. It’s just the language in those three different worlds that is a little bit different, or the topic or the content, but the the skills on not necessarily what you need to do. That’s the specific tasks in sales, marketing and leadership, a lot of people focusing on that. It’s how you need to be to connect this aspect is the thing that we’ve always overlooked, we didn’t recognize that actually, there is stuff that we need to do that enables ourselves, to have that energy, to have that ability to connect with others to recognize the things and commonalities and traits of what they have to bring those together. This is stuff that you can actually work on. And what a long time ago, this had to do with a really good salesperson I worked with a long time ago, used to believe that either you were born to sell or either quit or you couldn’t. I don’t know if that’s true or not, I really still to this day, don’t know if that’s true. But what I do know is that you can coach and mentor someone on how they need to connect. And that aspect of where my career has gone is kind of shocking. Because if you would have told me 2015 years ago that this is what I’d be focusing on. And specifically in the world, we’re living in today how important it is, I probably would have been surprised, I would have also been as surprised to recognize the path in which I went to get there is certainly not traditional never would have mapped it out. But it was through all of the connections that I made in my life that made this path achievable, that made the direction that I continue to move forward possible, that makes the things that I do each day, wonderful.
Heather Pearce Campbell 12:22
The power, I love the way that you described like the potential that exists in every connection, it’s like, to me, it’s a little bit like picking up a book. It’s so exciting, because it’s like you don’t know what could be in that book. And yet, it literally has the potential to change your life. Right? I feel the same way about people. Like you don’t know, what could be in that next person, or that next intersection and, and the way that, you know, synergy works and the way that you know, you can be mutually beneficial to each other? It I don’t know, it’s such a world of possibility. Yeah. And like, I think there are those of us who really thrive to use your favorite word off of new connections and right and relating to new people and kind of figuring that out. But I think there’s a whole world of people that feel really nervous. And like you say the word networking, right? How many people like immediately cruise or, you know, really have to like gear up for something like that. And because I know there’s different ways in different contexts that we can connect and, you know, in person, and now so much virtual and online and group format, individual format. What do you say to the folks that, like, are in the cringe group, like they think about the energy that it takes or how challenging they find it to connect with people in that way? Like, how do you coach those folks?
Lou Diamond 13:56
Well, first of all, I want to do a little vocabulary switch on you. And totally, I also hate the word networking. I think it’s I think it’s overused. I think when I think of a network today, I think of like, you know, computer systems speaking together. And I do recognize that you do have a network and need to grow your network, to be able to, you know, basically have table stakes in any form of business, whether it’s in sales, marketing, leadership, you need to have a network of individuals that you need to work with, on who you do business with. But the reality is, is that you are not there to network with your network. I use a word and a term that I say you’re there to connect work with the people, you’re there to make connections with those within your network. And And to your point. Yeah, there are people who are hesitant about going forward and trying to make connections and establish relationships or put together the the necessary business context that they need to do to do business. And there’s that fear of having to say like, you know, how do I meet this person? I’m interested in working in that field, or I’m interested, I need to get more clients in the space that I’m in. And I need to go to these networking events to find other people that are going to engage in my services. Well, I’m gonna make it simple for all your listeners here, okay, and we’re gonna, we’re gonna get down to the basics, how they’re, because it took me a while to figure this out, and you figure it out as well. There is a tremendous power that we have when we have connections, right. And our goal is to make connections. So I looked at that and said, Alright, everyone wants to make connections, and there’s all these places you can go to go do it. But when you really double click down, and you’re really bring in the microscope, and you try to understand where all those connections began, I’m gonna let your listeners and you know, it all starts with one simple place. Every single connection in your life, business, life, your personal life, your your passionate life, and all the things that you do. They all begin with one conversation. One connecting conversation, where you spoke with someone listened, spoke back to someone answered, spoke to someone and established the commonality, a story heard a story heard heard about when someone does that one conversation, probably led to some commonality on all those things. We talked about bringing worlds together, or maybe bringing things apart, sometimes conversations aren’t as great as we’d like. But it’s important to recognize that these conversations are good conversation, because we learn from them. But we also learn about the other. And when it connection begins at the root of one conversation. And we now know that there might even be a formula on how we can go about having a conversation that connects every single time how important would that be? Right? Well, you and I’ve been doing it here in podcasting. Not only are we having a conversation, and you and I are connecting, and you’re asking me questions, and I’m giving you answers, but your listeners are listening in on this conversation. And by the way, a conversation is an amazing piece of content that you can be right next to and listen and learn a tremendous amount from as a speaker who goes on stage and speaks to an audience, I look at that audience as one person I’m having a conversation with, basically, with chances to talk individually to them. Because that is the connection that I am trying to make. And it starts with that one conversation. So instead of thinking of, Oh, my God, these are all the people, I got to meet a network thing, or I got to get these leads, or I got to get this, you should actually just think about how many conversations that I have. I tell this to sales teams all the time, how they’re, and you’re gonna love this. I work with large companies and midsize companies that are trying to grow their sales. And a lot of them are trying to figure out better ways that they can connect. And I have a new barometer that I want them to look at when they measure this because you know, you ever hear those sales meetings? And they sound something like this? Well, you know, we had a really good conversation in our first sales meeting. And it looks like there’s possibility we may be meeting again, or they haven’t ruled this out yet. They didn’t say no, they didn’t say Yes, right. I don’t look at anything else. But two factors when it comes to this one, was there a conversation that took place? And two, will there be another is the purpose of every single conversation you have at the end of the day isn’t just about making a connection, but it’s about having another conversation that will eventually lead down the path of doing business of establishing a relationship of building all the things that you need to do to build so that you can grow your business, thrive as an individual, and be an amazing human on this planet? Right. But think about that guy that said it was a good conversation. Who knows if it was a good conversation or not? That’s your opinion, right? But if two people had a conversation, where they asked each other questions, and they engaged, and they started to connect, and then there was a next step that basically said, I’d love to have another conversation or let’s have my team’s meet, and we could follow up or let’s talk, even if it’s a business deal, this is great. Send me the documentation I want to sign what do I need to do that could be a conversation to write we love, we love, we love those. So those are the things that you need to know that all those who are worried about networking and trying to figure out what to do don’t think about that. Just think about, I want to have a few conversations here because those conversations are where I’m going to make the connections to grow my connect work to become the success I’m trying to achieve to do.
Heather Pearce Campbell 19:13
Yeah, well, it’s you, you put it so clearly, it’s just a mindset shift. It’s about thinking about concepts that we all have heard of and know about and shifting the terminology like networking makes a lot of people cringe. You know, you can’t network with 1000 people all at once you you connect one by one by one by one right? And it’s I think when you make it that simple, it’s really about you know, showing up whether it’s to an event whether it’s to you know, any group function, you might be leading it, you might not be leading it and participating in a way that is meaningful one on one on one on one right and we all know how to do that. We’ve we’ve made our way through life having to learn those skills. And we might do it in different ways. But I’m sure you said there’s a formula. I’m sure there’s ways we can do it better, right? Oh, yes, there. So, talk to us, for those of us who are like, Okay, I want I want the full meal deal I want to hear about you know, exactly what I should be doing to do this better. What do we need to know?
Lou Diamond 20:23
Okay, so we need to know a few things. And a lot of these will be the answer to, I guess, the plugs section that we’ll get to at the end. But I’m going to give a few here to your listeners so that they really can at least get them started. And I think this is important. Let’s just start off with the basic components, which is the preparation you need to do yourself. Because let’s make it clear, there’s a lot of changes we need to do in this world. And everyone could point fingers any other way. But we can only look at our mirror and start with ourselves on what we need to do to prepare, right? So I’ll take this and this is from my first book master the art of connecting, we really need to know ourselves and understand that we actually have a connecting core inside of us. And that connecting core inside of us are four different muscles. I kid you not we have these muscles, you can’t really see them. They’re somewhere in the core, I’ll tell you a really good joke. My favorite story about a car was the first time I went to like a personal trainer. They said, Well, you really need to strengthen your core. And, you know, I did all the exercise and things that they did. And I immediately went home this is definitely before cellphones are. And I went to go look up where the core was on my body because I had no idea. Was it a Button Was it a place I didn’t understand where it is in a second. I’m like, oh, Larry, area now I get it. But but to that point, when it comes to connecting, we each have our own connecting kart to make things really easy here. I’ve given an acronym, it’s called the safe sa fe, I’ll work backwards just to be fun this way. The E is the power of empathy. And that is our ability to step in the shoes of another and see things from their perspective. See, when we want to connect with another individual, we really need to actually understand what the other individual is seeing things. And that means we got to get out of our own way and not just jump in and relate everything to ourselves, we have to from a coaching perspective, this is actually this is basically a level of listening, which is really stepping into what the only what they say and listen to what they do asking great questions, but making it about the person we’re trying to connect with, how do they see things, not our world, their world. So they’re a little orb around themselves. The F is a fearless mindset. And getting to your mindset. I’m not saying void of fear. I’m saying you need to move through Fear into Courage. You have to know what hesitates and what basically gets you and hold you back. Because that’s the only way you need to be able to flip the script on that to be able to move forward and actually overcome that fear into card. So if you’re afraid of going in and having those conversations, don’t make it, you know it or meet the people in networking thing, just realize that if you didn’t go at all, you would never extend your network whatsoever. And that would be a much worse fear, you might have a fear of seeing your business fail or your relationships fail, right. So initially stepping in there, just having compassion, because everyone else is doing the same thing. The last two are real important. The A is authenticity, we can smell. I don’t know, if I’m allowed to curse in this.You can smell bullshit a mile away, right? And if the more real we are, you got to be, you know, be real and honest from the heart, truth all the way through to the bone. In the way you communicate in the way you use. You sell yourself a lot of people want to like, Oh, I’m doing this, I’m doing that I’m doing this, I’m doing this, I’m doing that this is what I got going on and all this. You know, I always like Well, how’s business? You ever hear this question? How business and most people’s first of all, it’s great. It’s this, it’s that the real follow up question. Really, how is it? Yeah, we want to give that honesty, we want to know where you if someone’s there to help you, you want to know the areas you know, I’m looking to try to grow my sales team, I’m having trouble getting my marketing message out, like be open that authenticity, like we can show a little vulnerability because we’re all vulnerable. And we want to see inside you to make a connection we want to understand we got to let somebody in make it clear, it’s a two way street. So being authentic is something that we are drawn to because when we are not authentic, we don’t want to connect at all with that individual right now. And he asked us to bring this home as quickly as I could other and that is that is our superpower our super why as I call it, it’s kind of our purpose. You got to unleash it onto the world. My as I shared with your listeners, you know I was put on this planet to work with the most amazing businesses, leaders and brands and help them thrive through connecting because when you thrive, you are taking things to the next level moving onward and upward. And if these connections can do that, my goodness, what a wonderful world would be in so if your superpower if you’re an introvert and your superpower is super coding or or developing cool products, you can still connect with others and let people know what that is we want to connect with that. We love superheroes, don’t we we always want to know like, especially the origin story, like how they got their superhero People want to hear that that’s why they love listening to podcasts like yours. So this the superpower we want to see it, because that’s something we want to connect with because guess what? We become like a member of the Justice League when we connect with someone that has a superpower because like, Hey, I know his guy that he’s super connecting. I know this woman who’s super an organizing and getting businesses set up. It was a phenomenal podcaster This is the stuff that we want to connect with. So for you for your listeners out there. Start with strengthening your connecting core you’re safe, understand that those muscles need to be flexed and people will want to start connecting with you.
Heather Pearce Campbell 25:34
Okay, let’s take a pause and hear briefly from today’s sponsor. Today’s sponsor is Melanie Benson, the Authority Amplifier. Melanie is also the host of the Amplify Your Success Podcast. She can be found online at Melaniebenson.com. Melanie’s superpower is helping entrepreneurs like you identify and activate their own unique positioning to become the highly paid authority that their ideal client knows likes and trust. After spending 21 years guiding talented entrepreneurs to success and 15 years in Fortune 500 companies, Melanie brings a unique integration of proven success, business acumen and soulful intuition to each client. Clients who work her amplify roadmap can see a 5x growth within the first 90 days, you can find out about the AMPLIFi roadmap and more at Melanie benson.com. She has an amazing array of free tools and additional resources that will help you in building and scaling your business quickly creating Magnetic Messaging and attracting exactly the right client. If you visit Melanie benson.com, you currently get access to 10 revenue rush strategies, where you can discover the 10 fastest ways to quickly increase cash flow and develop a more profitable business. This is a tool that has worked for almost 5000 clients already, again, visit Melanie benson.com. And now back to today’s amazing guest I want to go a level of the letters, I want to go to the fearless portion. Because I think a lot of people will let especially when it comes to group events. I’ve talked to so many people that it’s like, oh, you say something about a networking event or even, you know, it doesn’t even have to be a networking event. It can be even like a really cool group event where they know a bunch of networking is going to happen, right? It’s like built into it. And it’s still I think people can get really like like feeling on the spot about it or something. And I remember so as a kid, I’m going to share a personal story. I was like, seventh or eighth grade, I was having a really hard time. Like with my voice connecting with kids that were older than me. I had an older brother and I remember actually all the way into ninth grade when I joined high school I literally walked around with a big high school campus like head down. Didn’t look at anybody carrying this heavy backpack. My brother would tease me like endlessly about how introverted I was. And my dad gave me a book, How to Win Friends and Influence People.
Lou Diamond 28:27
It’s the one of my favorites somewhere up there.
Heather Pearce Campbell 28:29
Right? I know I love your color coded for people that can’t see he’s got a color coded shell shout
Lou Diamond 28:35
They were guests on the show a long time ago and
Heather Pearce Campbell 28:39
I love it. Does it help you find your books? Like do you have to remember what color your books are?
Lou Diamond 28:45
What’s actually really funny is that I think I associate a lot of the guests who’ve been on my program with with their books and their color and some people are really on brand with it to like actually to give a shout out here to Stacey hunky who has a red white and black thing her book is right there the influence redefined and then and Phil M. Jones his book. He’s got black, orange and white sort of but but the orange of black are his themes. I think that’s right here as I put my finger right over there. Yeah. Yeah. But yes. And of course, obviously, that should be a blessing to everybody was white. You know, you might get lost in the shuffle here.
Heather Pearce Campbell 29:17
So right. That’s hilarious. Anyways, yeah.
Lou Diamond 29:21
How did you come out of your shell? I want to hear that story.
Heather Pearce Campbell 29:23
Right. I read the book, and I really looked around and I was a pretty serious kid. So like, when my dad gave me a book, I was like, All right, I guess I better read this book and figure this out. And but I looked around and it was really about deciding, like, who I was going to be was I going to be somebody that let fear get in the way of this other person like knowing connecting with potentially serving this other person. And I was like, oh, like I got really turned off even as a kid by the idea that my fear would stop me from, you know, getting to know somebody else. And so I just decided, like, I’m not gonna be that person I’m gonna, you know, and I can’t remember at the time what steps it was. But I remember very clearly, like, the importance of remembering other people’s names and like some just really basic, but key lessons from that book that I mean to this day, I could say probably changed my life.
Lou Diamond 30:18
I like to think of fear in two ways we have, we would not be human, without two fears, that every fear that you can think of roll up to. And I affectionately and probably not, you know, the most affectionate term, but I like to call them like the deathbed fears, like, you know, you know, like, if you’re worried about your business today, and you’re worried about, you know, whether your kids get off to school, or this happens, or whatever it is in your life, they all the stresses that you might have tried to fast forward and imagine like, you’ve lived a full life and you’re on your deathbed, right? And you’re in, you’re about to go, you’re certainly not going to be concerned about like, you know, where the stock market is, or, or what’s going on, you know, who’s social who said, What, and who do this. Now, there’s only two things you care about, was I loved? Was I appreciated? And I think all of our fears go to those things. What did I put value on this earth from that appreciation of the things that I’ve did that people care about? And to people care about me? They love me. So when you think about all those fears that you have, you know, you know, the imposter syndrome, which is a popular one, like, I don’t know, if I could be an entrepreneur, I don’t really know if I really am one or whatever, because you’re only telling yourself this, but that’s part of that, you know, appreciation, they are even part of the love thing, like will people like me, well, people like me is a big fear, right? You know, because maybe it gets carried, I want to clarify lots of people can like you, and not everyone will like you but there’s a few core people that you want to be loved. And it doesn’t have to be the whole world has to be the people that mean the most to you and then also Karabakh. So if you take all of the fears that you have, and you try to understand exactly what it is I writing them down talking them out with another coach, we do a fear coaching exercise in some of our fun leadership works exercises as to what are those things that hold you back. And when you understand, really at its core, what holds you back. And all you need to do is just kind of talk to yourself about it, I do this physical exercise where I lay make them stand and own their fear. We call this phobia coaching, which is the fear of being immediately authentic. And we have them stare at stand in that moment. And they and they’re dwelling in the fear like you, you know, I’m afraid this podcast show won’t be heard by anybody. I’m afraid that I’m wasting my time doing this. And I’m not going to you know, get any more business with anything I want to do. I’m afraid that people are going to hear me they’re not going to like the sound of my voice. I’m afraid they’re going to hear me and they’re going to think this is the stupidest program ever. Right? Like own that. But then that’s the thing. And then I literally physically move them like 45 degrees angle, like out like I go, let’s look back at yourself where you were half a second ago. What do you want to say to that person? Standing here, you’re not fear. By the way, you’re not winning. You’re not afraid you’re not fearless. But you’re in the middle here you lay these fears or whatever you want to say that person that’s dwelling in this stuff like, Dude, you’re so stupid. Why are you worrying about this, you’re so good, you’re so there’s all of a sudden, all of the things that you would do to spin your fears on their head, and flip them upside down to recognize that fear is just another view of what courage can be. When you think about how strong you want to be in your life, and the things that you need to do to succeed, and when you think about the courageous people trust me, every one of them has had a fear, they just basically said, Okay, I understand it, I’m going to keep pushing it. Some people use the fear to drive them. Some people use that fear to keep them going. Some people use that fear to actually work harder, so they are appreciated. So your mindset shouldn’t be, it’s holding me back, your mindset should be, I want to know why it’s holding me back. So I know what to do to flip that switch so I can move forward.
Heather Pearce Campbell 33:56
Hmm. Such a good example. I love the exercise you just described of like, standing in it, and even phobia.
Lou Diamond 34:06
For those listening. I have done this exercise in groups of over like 800 people in a crowd and picked out one person and did this whole exercise thing in front of that part. I look in the crowd when I do it. And on top of the fact that they have to face their fears and talk about it with a microphone in front of everybody. They’re in front of everybody. And a lot of their fears. I’m afraid of doing this right now. Right. But I spend that whole thing. I just think you’re the only one standing here and everyone is wishing that they’re not in your shoes right now. Right? And the reality is that’s what they’re thinking. But the reality also is, is that what an advantage, you’re getting coached through this and they’re not. So that’s right. This is for entrepreneurs who face because there’s no vision, there’s no if you work for a big company, it’s like you go into battle with an army of people and there’s like a whole bunch of armor and protection and there’s a ship in the middle of the bay that are there to help you in back a helicopter called back If you need it, but when you’re an entrepreneur, you basically have a like a stick in a loincloth to try to fight somebody. And, and the reality is, is that everything hurts. Every every comment seems to be an infraction on you. But what’s important is that you’re the one out there, you’re facing those fears more than anyone else, you’re going to start building up a tougher skin. And you’re going to start leading because you’re taking that step forward. So when I say to all the entrepreneurs who are probably big listeners of your program, the networking fear the talking to other fear that the decision about even making the decision to go run your own business. Would you rather be in this bar of saying, Well, you know, I, I wish I did that, but I never did do it? Or would you rather be in that space? And I’m glad I did. And let’s see what happens. pretty freakin magical and what it can do for you.
Heather Pearce Campbell 35:48
Yeah, absolutely. And speaking of that, what it can do for you share with me just for a minute what the path of entrepreneurship means to you.
Lou Diamond 35:59
The irony is, is that my dad was an entrepreneur is an entrepreneur, his entire life, saving that always worked for himself, did his own thing, started his own stuff. So I had an enemy and I got to watch. Probably the best salesperson I’ve ever seen, just from a likability factor I to this day, it’s impossible to dislike me such a wonderful individually really is not only someone I look up to, but he’s just got such a such a fun, great smile and spirit, but a kindness that you connect with immediately. So I’ve got that little bit in the DNA. And my mom who’s a coach actually has that ability to listen, and the ability to come up with and listen to those problems and answer them. And that combination of the two is kind of, you know, helped make me who I am. It just took me a while to figure that out. But the entrepreneurial journey has always been in my blood. And when I started Thrive about eight years ago, look, it was it was hard. And
Heather Pearce Campbell 36:54
right, it sounds like you had lots of corporate worlds. Oh, yeah, that’s right.
Lou Diamond 36:59
I went for being one of the top salespeople on Wall Street firm and basically said, I’m done, I need to get this message about connecting that was formulating itself. And that’s where the book master the art of connecting came out. And I started, you know, helping businesses understand what this connection story was. The book started formulating, came out in its own way. And one of the most interesting things was I enjoyed helping these companies move onward and upward, which actually is what thrive is, that’s what the name of the company was. I used to think like, I’m like, I couldn’t understand why these other companies wouldn’t want me right away. And I actually remember for those that who start out, you see all these other great success stories, you see all these people that are just doing these wins, I learned a very important lesson from from other entrepreneurs. And it’s such an important one that all your listeners need to hear, hear that when you’re on that journey, you’re gonna see and hear so much stuff. It’s like drinking from a firehose, and from all different directions, and your ears or nose or mouth, whatever it might be, it’s coming in from all always real important to know this. You cannot compare someone else’s middle, to your beginning. And I think it’s real important that a lot of us try and do things that other people are doing, and you feel like you’re failing, or you feel like you’re not doing because someone else’s there, but you have to figure out your own path and get your own line of focus. And just as I was talking about those areas of connection of who I help, I drill down into who I specifically help really, really importantly, and I know everyone out there is like, oh, I can service any industry or I can service any type of company, pick one to start, pick a few and because if you start working with that one, and yeah, you may end up picking a whole niche where people know you for that you can grow a very successful business with that. One of the best speakers I’ve ever met. He does not speak in huge stadiums or big conferences when he goes out and gives his message. He does weekly presentations in the real estate space, to probably no more than 20 Realtors every single week. But this guy’s been making a killing for over two decades. And probably no one I actually know is made more money and spoken more times and this individual for what he does in the programs he offers. And I remembered saying I go wow, this guy picked one lane I go, how did you pick this lane in beginning What made you do it? He goes, it was the first one I know. So you know, it was just he was looking he was in the housing market. He said that I probably can help these people. And that’s where it literally it started. I think it’s really important to understand that it nothing happens overnight. All the success stories you hear had many, many, many failures before you actually achieved it. I’ll spin this over to the podcast program that I’ve had now which has become one of the greatest lead gen tools for my business. And believe it or not an avenue of my business which I am helping people connect. I have major Fortune 100 companies, even 500 100 companies hiring me to help them produce and create the platforms for their podcast programs, which is the craziest thing in the entire world. And I had about 150 guests on my program before I said How am I going to make money He in this this thing. And then I started recognizing bringing this full circle, these conversations was where the money was at, the people I was connecting with and establishing the connections with was where everything was starting. And I started to realize how to utilize the platform to grow my business, to bring in the clients, I wanted to connect with the right people, I wanted to have to get them on the program to then hire me to do the stuff that I do really well. So the journey is a never ending non linear path of where I go, but has had a lot of bumps and bruises and hard years and and I always give kudos to my wife at this point for sticking by me and still sticking by me with this. And I laughed the other day, because I just sent out an invoice for a particular client, thank go, would you have ever thought that this could have happened from what we’re doing right now. And the reality is, it took a lot of time, it took a lot of bumps a lot of hard years to make it happen. So it’s the sticking with it, that stick to itiveness. That mindset that you have to keep doing it, you have to keep pushing and moving onward and upward. Because that’s what that’s what it’s all about each and every day, and why I love having conversations with people like you because they just inspire me to.
Heather Pearce Campbell 41:10
It’s so important. I mean, thank you for sharing that. And I feel like it’s we just cannot say it enough. I feel like we have to counteract so much of the Bs in the marketplace that sells people, including people who come with lots of life experience and something to really offer the world, but maybe they’re venturing off in the first time, like the first the first real path for themselves into the path of entrepreneurship or creating their thing in the world. And, you know, like the the playing the long game, the being dedicated to like getting to the top of the mountain is the only way you get the
Lou Diamond 41:51
You know that and what I love about the the the experience about all of it, just you know, and specifically. And it’s funny, because I’m actually speaking in February of 2022, about this platform, which is kind of weird, like, I’m now getting paid to go speak and talk about this platform. And the purpose of the platform was to try to get more speaking gigs in the other stuff that I do. Right? Isn’t that a weird? Like, that was part of the whole path that I said, Wait, that wasn’t supposed to happen that way. So you don’t there’s there’s a lot of variables that you’ll never understand actually how they do. But what I will tell you is that if you are good at something and you release that superpower in the same way that you would do with your connections, and you start to hone in on that superpower and you start doing it over and over and over again, you get really, really good at it. And I’ll bring this forward. The more conversations you have, the more connections you will make. And the better you will be at making those connections and each conversation you do so you should continue to have as many of them as possible, try not to turn down an opportunity to do it. Because it’s going to lead to the next step in the growth of where you’re trying to thrive. Whatever it is in your business development in your marketing your hiring, in even understanding your customers better. One of the things that happens too often. I recently had Shep Hyken who is the ultimate customer experience guy you should have on your show you’d love him. Oh, Italy shop is one of one of his spectacular guy. He’s also follically challenged like myself, so I do like him for that reason as well. But shop. I asked him on the program I go, how come it is that everyone forgets about customer service. They know it’s one of the most important things that ever what happens. And then you have an eye we kind of decoded about that they don’t intentionally do it. But they get busy having other conversations in other directions and they lose focus on that. So we recognize this as that. Don’t be nice to your customers was a big his big message. And constantly be talking to them about how you can be doing a better job. Just like you can talk to other go on other podcast shows I love being on this side of the mic every now and then because I’m doing a lot of listening like you are right now. But it also gives me a chance to understand you know, what people want to hear and how I could also now contribute to a conversation on the different side. So that’s why I play like It’s like playing tennis like playing lefty or righty if you switch hands, you could be ambidextrous, do that.
Heather Pearce Campbell 44:09
Right. No. Well, that last point you made is so important. I mean, one, the power of just remaining a conversation being dedicated to continuing that and I 100% agree none of us build businesses alone. It happens through connecting with other people in a variety of ways. And what you said about what Shep shares about not neglecting the people that you already started a conversation with, right? It’s that follow up follow up follow it like 80% of your business is in the follow up. And you know, maybe more but it’s I think that is a really easy piece that people let
Lou Diamond 44:48
Yeah. And and it’s an old world like you know, your your next nearest dollar is with the customer you’re already working with. So So those are the ones remember that having a conversation the goal is to have another conversation. I love this So if you keep having those conversations with your client are only growing and building your connection with them. So much so that it’s such a tight connection that they just don’t want to let you go. And that’s the type of type of thing you need to be having. So for your entrepreneurs out there leaders, my message to them is just keep having more conversations to make the connections you need to grow your business.
Heather Pearce Campbell 45:21
I love that. Lou, you’ve given us so much value today. I’ve loved this conversation, where do you like for people to connect with you online.
Lou Diamond 45:30
So first of all, you can find me at Thriveloud.com If you want to go to the website, and you could also anywhere on social media at Thrive loud, I make it really easy for people. We’re also you can go find a lovely conversation if you search with with me and Heather, when she was a guest on the Thrive lab podcast, which is also there. And obviously that also is where you can find where I could speak and do other things and coming soon. In 2022. Fittingly, for our conversation here. I’ll let your listeners know that my next book is coming out. And as we’ve addressed, as I’ve kind of hinted to in this entire book, the book is about how you can connect, engage and win with every conversation. So stay tuned for the new book released entitled to be announced. It’s already announced, but we were keeping it as a big release party. There’ll be news and you can find all that out at Thrive lounge.com Or there’ll be links for that.
Heather Pearce Campbell 46:29
Awesome. And if you’re listening, be sure to pop over I’m going to share Lou’s links as well as his social media links. At Legal website warrior.com forward slash podcast check out his show notes. Lou, oh my gosh, do you know that I went back and I listened to our conversation again, not too long ago. It was like a few weeks ago, maybe a month. And I just laughed out loud. Like at some of the pieces you you make that conversation such a fun conversation. And I know you do that with every guest. So listeners,
Lou Diamond 46:57
I’m gonna let let you in on a little secret. Um, I have a team of people that helped me with a lot of the editing and the production of where they go, they are awesome. They’re the Thrive lab team is amazing. They, but they also do we do these things every now and then where we call them minisodes. minisodes is when we go back to a spectacular conversation that we have. And we pluck out that one gem that one little piece of brilliance that we think is worthy enough of its own episode on its own. It’s a really short episode called the minisode. Stay tuned because in early 2022, we have a minisode of Heather.
Heather Pearce Campbell 47:32
I love that I love that idea of the minisode. That’s so cool. Well, and your guests definitely gonna want to check out Lou’s podcast for other reasons. He has amazing guests there. Short, powerful episodes, he runs people through a series of really fun questions. He stumped me I think a few times on mine. But Lou, I just love connecting with you. I so appreciate all of the valuable information that you’ve shared here today. What’s one final takeaway? I know you’ve already shared like 29. But what’s one final takeaway that you would leave people with?
Lou Diamond 48:04
Let’s leave it with what I started with. Be brief, be bright, be gone. Be brief. Recognize that time that we have to connect with people is short and we want to use it so don’t be so wordy and verbose even though I was here today on the podcast, but you were probably driving or listening so it was worth it. Right? When you think about something you want to say not only say something that you think is smart, but say something that is going to shine on someone that’s going to lift up their day and be gone and I don’t mean drop the mic. Be gone I mean to move onward and upward, which is what thriving is all about. So Thrive loud each and every day as I love to tell people.
Heather Pearce Campbell 48:35
I love it. Boom. There it was Lou, so good to see you. Thank you again for joining me today and I can’t wait to connect again soon.
Lou Diamond 48:43
Heather Pearce Campbell You Rock thanks so much.
GGGB Outro 48:49
Thank you for joining us today on the Guts, Grit & Great Business™ podcast. We hope that we’ve added a little fuel to your tank, some coffee to your cup and pep in your step to keep you moving forward in your own great adventures. For key takeaways links to any resources mentioned in today’s show and more, see the show notes which can be found at legalwebsitewarrior.com/podcast. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast and if you enjoyed today’s conversation, please give us some stars and a review on Apple podcast Spotify or wherever you get your podcast so others will find us too. Keep up the great work you are doing in the world and we’ll see you next week.